So any way so much of my thinking and feelings have come 180° from 10 years ago. Don’t get me wrong I stil have my not so brilliant hours and days. Prison is Not an easy venue to go from total shit head to minor poopy dude in. God knows I’m trying Amy to be a better human being! It’s not easy.
My Racial bigoted side comes out now and then. Totaly my fault. It doesn’t matter what a person does or doesn’t do. Other people’s faults aren’t reasons for me to be ignorant.
-Brent Brents 4-30-15
Tag Archives: prison
Prison is not an easy venue
Filed under Brents' writings
mental health
Note from Amy: “Adseg” refers to “administrative segregation,” or keeping a prisoner isolated from other prisoners, as Brent Brents is.
AdSeg is typically done as punishment; in Brents’ case, it’s done to protect him from other prisoners.
Here is the official definition, from the National Institute of Justice website: Prisoners are placed in solitary confinement, or administrative segregation, for violent or disruptive behavior. AS typically involves single-cell confinement for 23 hours daily; inmates are allowed one hour out of the cell for exercise and showers.
I realy am sick of Adseg. It realy does a Number on ones physical and mental health. I just have to keep up the hope and hard work. Have faith right.
-Brent Brents 4-28-15
Filed under Uncategorized
like a college course on sociopathic behavior
So I live next to this guy whose lies make my old lying self look awesome in comparison…He’s in prison for murder, thats true. The rest is Horse Shit served warm. Truth is i should feel for him. But i just can’t bring myself to do it. He’s angry as hell. And crazy to.
So it’s like a college course on Sociopathic behavior. Or looking into a mirror, that once showed me. And my personality. It’s sureal. I mean the violent attitudes. The dominate behavior. The con games. You name it. It is all the old old me. Crazy shit!
–Brent Brents 2-24-15
Filed under Brents' writings
“Convict Code’
Crazy world in here. The funny thing is The so called “Convict Code” is about Respect. Thats a fucking joke. Hyenas have more Respect than the animals behind prison walls.
-Brent Brents 9-11-14
Filed under Brents' writings
prison any where would make soap operas look tame
Gossip.
We all do it. But here in prison it is crazy. Cops do it, staff do it, Inmates do it. Kid you Not prison any where would make soap operas look tame. People die over the stoopidest shit all brought on by gossip. I try not to do it. Unsucessfully mind you. Mostly is is my anger and frustration with the Staff and inmates. Things i don’t understand and situations that get confusing or out of control.
-Brent Brents 3-10-14
Filed under Brents' writings
I can’t change the past
Note from Amy: In November, the following question was sent to me by a reader through this website, Diary of a Predator:
I do have a question for Brent. Since prison is punishment and supposed to help prevent crimes as a deterrent, do you think it is fair ( yes, I know nothing is fair) that you were granted an identity change and transfer in exchange for admitting guilt for what you had done? The victims were not granted anything special and their identities are easily found on the internet. Do you feel that your punishment should be met with honesty, even if that means you will be targeted?
I conveyed the question to Brents, and this week I received his reply in the mail:
So i have been asked to answer whether or not the out of state housing stipulation is fair or Not. Well first let me say that no matter what Mitch Morrissey is telling people, I’m Not doing easy time. I’m doing the same administrative segragation time i would be doing in Colorado. Acutaly i have less privaledges here. Too bad huh.
So am i being to those i victimized. I believe there is Nothing fair about what i did, Nor can I ever do enough to be fair. So No, Not yesterday, today, or in the future. I stick to the process of staying out of arguing fair or unfair.
The bottom line is, how can i best serve out The justice those i hurt deserve. I believe spending each day for the rest of my life, aware of what i have done. The evil, The pain, The wrecking of people’s lives. And working w/ Amy on this web site. I can’t change the past, but i can hopefully help change the future. At least i am trying to do some good. Most sexual offenders go to prison and don’t care about what or who they hurt. Or do anything to make themselves better.
Brent Brents 12-15-13
Filed under Brents' writings
Amsterdam Reader: we must find a way toward a broader solution
Note from Amy: The following response is from the woman who started the loop of this conversation–the one living in Amsterdam. And I am heartened by the intelligent, thoughtful and respectful discussions that occur on this Diary of a Predator website, so thank you to those who care enough to speak up:
We are all together on this planet, and some of us have been more fortunate than others. I have had several family members violently attacked, so this is not written from a place unscathed; however, Christianity does teach forgiveness and not just when it is easy or convenient.
My perspective is not intended to allow the perpetrators a “pass”, but to acquire some level of understanding and knowledge which could help to prevent these abnormalities from developing and proliferating. If we are truly serious about finding solutions, throwing offenders into jail is just one part of the answer. Currently, a violent sexual offender is going to be released into American society after his stint in prison: has anything been done to rehabilitate this person? How will we cope with this “time bomb” if no intervention or therapy has been offered? Soon prisons will not be able to contain all of them.
In previous centuries mental illness was considered an evil, but education and research have shown that this “illness” can be treated with therapy and drugs. Human society is better for this improvement. The onset of AIDS had people living in fear and treating victims as pariahs, but research has developed new treatments and we are progressing toward eliminating this scourge. Could we not apply this type of thinking to this problem? Shouldn’t we as humans try to advance our understanding and knowledge?
I know Brent’s crimes are particularly difficult to come to terms with, and I do believe he belongs in prison, however, we must find a way toward a broader solution.
I am not Dutch, I was raised in Canada, but have spent most of my adult life in the United States where these crimes seem to be on the rise. Currently, I am living and working in the Netherlands from where I am writing this correspondence.
Sincerely, Theresa L.
Filed under The story
the real threats of Grief, heartbreak, empathy
OK I wrote this thing on grief. Hopefully it makes Sense. I didn’t write it until i felt it was Natural and Not forced. I know i don’t think or see feelings like most people. So i can’t force things.
Grief.
Like empathy its an emotion i struggle with. I have grief for lost grandparents and friends, and even pets.
I have a guilt about Grieving for my lost childhood, due to the abuse i went thru. I became a sexual being much to soon, so i lost the discover that comes with a young man’s virginity. I also did cause others to go thru the same grief.
My years in school were Not pleasant. I really Miss Not having a Normal school life. I wanted to be in 4H and play baseball, and football, go to prom, Graduate, and eventually go to College. But i was literaly to stoopid to go to college.
Oh I’m Not feeling sorry about school. I simply grieve the growth i missed. I educated myself acedmecly during my years in prison. OK so i need spell check to be installed in my brain on a permanent basis. But i feel good that i have a much wider education than many kids get today. And I am sad for them.
With my educational growth as a young adult i also grew emotionaly. The bad part is i embraced distructive emotions. These emotions Blocked me from being rational. I couldn’t be empathetic, or grieve normaly. Anger and rage, selfishness and refusal to take off my blinders, Black and White thinking, Abusive behavior etc. These I used to protect myself from the real threats of Grief, heartbreak, empathy. The Simple ability to feel anything other than self loathing and hatred for others.
Once i started letting myself experience grief without an anchor or rage or hatred, I was litteraly able to take a deep breath and release it, and know I’m OK.
So when i hear a story or see a TV show about something i missed in life, I know its ok to Grieve for it and not Let rage and hatred control my reactions.
So I may be wierd because i like grief. But liking it rather than Not being able to breathe, because i can’t get past rage and hatred. Yea i can live with being ok with grief and the natural feelings it causes.
Brent Brents 10-14-12
Filed under Brents' writings
Letter to Natasha, part two: No One wants a rapist or child molester to bite or duck out
Here’s part two of the questions from Natasha, a reader:
I don’t believe harsher prison sentences are necessarily the answer, not in any humane way, plus they will get out eventually, and we are naive to think longer sentences = change people. I did come across some research that discussed how sexual predators are very predictable when constantly monitored (in free society); I feel that this would be far cheaper and more effective than imprisoning them.
I also feel a huge problem is the sexism and misogyny that is rampant in male-dominated policing and the police state we live in period in this eurowestern culture, including the courts. Many of these men in charge Just.Don’t.Get.It. and they are the ones making life altering decisions for survivors of rape and abuse. This woman-hating trickles down the inherently rotten hierarchy (as they all are) from politicians right down to the cops. Sure there are good ones out there, but this is not the majority. And I don’t have any answers because this system is enforced on us with violence, so any radical overhaul will be met with violence. This is where I often get stuck with my thinking…
I feel that prisons as they stand today are horrible places and dehumanizing and in no way “corrective” or “rehabilitating”, they only make distressed prisoners more distressed. I wish there was a medium — something like constant supervision of violent prisoners in order to ensure safety of self and others, but with some humanity and compassion attached to it. May I ask, what would be your ideal vision if you could wave a wand and make it happen, past mistakes aside? -Natasha
Answer from Brent:
Natasha,
As for an ideal vision, I hope, deeply hope that more and more people use this site for support, help, to help. That The Mental health professionals stop drawing lines in the sand on sound theories and work together to get a better handle on what it is that enables a human being to shut off the moral part of their brain and to commit violent sexual acts.
That each state prison system with sexual offenders who would be released be made to create prison environments that don’t encourage violence against them. All to often inmates will refuse treatment and be insincere in there treatment if they feel threatened. Oh I’m Not saying baby them. And if you want my honest opinion i agree with many that if a person who continues to show certain behaviors in prison should be considered for civil commitments. And any offender over the age of 35 as well.
I think the registries are good and should be more hands on supp0rtively, and less agressive in the treatment of parolees and those discharged from prison. If you keep kicking a dog it will eventualy bite or run. No One wants a rapist or child molester to bite or duck out. If they have no sence of conformity outside of prison and people to turn to for help, then there is garunteed failure in the system.
And Natasha my ideal vision is that the system get its shit together where Kids are concerned. From parents to teachers, mental health, family and friends. If you think a child is being abused cry out for that child. If we help the children we can eliminate alot of people from becoming like me.
Just as children are our future hope, they are also likely to become our predators. Especialy if we keep Making them fight abuses alone and silently.
Oh and i agree with you on the sexism issue. But in todays society even corprate women understand sex sells. So you get less and less and less women speaking out. And far to many young girls and women willing to sacrifice Their bodies and their souls. Go to a porn store sometime and pick up a playboy. Open to the publication page. Half the people on staff are women. Its the same throughout the porn industry, the movie industry and fashion. Yes we still live in a time when women are seen as sex objects. But it doesn’t help when many of our female role models obscure the lines.
The world culture is becoming a sex sells culture. And its creating a greed in the media. The same media young and impressionable children have full 100% access to in today’s internet world.
As sad as it is The Western Culture is obsessed with sex, and this tree has to many roots and branches for the few to overcome.
Thank you for using the site. I hope you go on to have a sincere and succesfull career in psychology. I hope i answered your questions adaquately. If Not I’m always here! (Prison Humor!)
-Brent Brents 11-20-11
Filed under Brents' writings
stopping myself from hurting others
I think that my honesty sometimes disarms peoples true thoughts and feelings about what i have done. I’ve definitely changed from then to now but we both know sadly that i only see one way out of prison or stopping myself from hurting others. It would be easy to say i wouldn’t hurt others out there. But we both know how volitile my mood swings are.
-Brent Brents 10-29-11
Filed under Brents' writings
Diary of a Predator 