Tag Archives: rapist

Few of us really have empathy, compassion or remorse

So DENIAL is the word here. No one did what they are Locked up for. 65 % sex offenders and its either all lies or the victims fault. Or They just flat out didn’t do it. One guy has read the blog. Says i’m fucked up for my views on sex offenders. Says i should be sympathetic to “OUR” fight against the system.

Screw that, I’m not in Denial. Put me in group I’ll still Look harshly at myself and others like me. Yes there are some “one timers” as i call them. But damn few. You can die a Leopards fur but his spots are skin deep. A child molester, Rapist, Pedophile, sexual deviant is just that. Exceptions are Rare. Jus because a number don’t reoffend doesn’t make them any less capable of doing so.

Any way…Lots of us here. Few of us really have empathy, compassion or remorse. All i know for sure its Not easy for me mentaly to hear all the BS. So i really try to avoid certain conversations with people. My last three cellies are all innocent. Set up or the victim Lied. I’m beginning to think i’m the only guilty one here.

-Brent Brents

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Reader: Even as meek as he tried to make himself appear, your skin would still crawl.

I remember Brent Brents. Vividly. No, I’m not one of his victims but I am one of the deputies, now former, who worked in a jail where he was held… I bought your book, a first edition, shortly after it’s release. I was profoundly impacted by Brent during the time he was in custody. He was not a large man but had a very unique presence and one that would raise the hairs on your neck. I would say I’m fairly adept at recognizing danger and comfortable defending myself, if necessary. I also had several inches on him as I stand about 5’10” and I believe he was about 5’7”, if I remember correctly. He was housed in a maximum security unit and was allowed out one hour each day to shower, exercise, or watch tv, by himself.

Even as meek as he tried to make himself appear, your skin would still crawl. There was something fundamentally broken inside of him and that intuition we all have that makes you recognize a dangerous situation would fire off regularly, even when he was locked behind a 2 inch thick metal door. Even other inmates, in maximum security, were bothered by him.

Incidentally, he was right about one thing, the other inmates did want to kill him. We had a few really bad guys in that unit during that time. There is a hierarchy in jail, as I am sure you are aware. Child molesters are on the bottom of that with rapists being one step above. Since Brents was both, and notorious, you could say his reception was not exactly warm.

-Name withheld by request

November 14, 2018

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no verifiable threat to his safety at this time

From Amy: Brent Brents applied for protective custody at his new prison and was turned down. Here’s an excerpt from the “Notice of Protective Custody Decision”:

“The Committee determined Brent Brents should not be placed in protective custody due to there being no verifiable threat to his safety at this time…”

Generally, inmates in prison for being serial rapists don’t fare well in general population. We’ll see how this goes.

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My trauma will be with me for the rest of my life but I’m a fighter

Amy- I watched your whole video on Have you ever met a Monster. I will be honest, at first when I started to watch it I couldn’t listen objectively. I was unable to understand from the rapist’s point of view because I usually don’t have compassion for them. When I watched your video for the second time, I watched the whole thing and my views were changed a little. You are right, we need to change the way we view monsters.

Brent Brents- I understand exactly how you feel, you feel angry and betrayed by those around you. I’m so sorry for all the trauma you went through as a young boy. It wasn’t your fault and you didn’t deserve it.

—————–

I know it’s difficult. I’m angry at the fact he got zero help..no one saw what was going. I’m not pitying him, I feel sad for his inner child…. It’s awful. In my own trauma I definitely am angry that my abuser got away with it and that the foster parent at the time chose to ignore it. But I’m so lucky to have gotten adopted into a loving and supportive family.

My trauma will be with me for the rest of my life but I’m a fighter, and I’ve made it this far.
Thank you so much for reading the comments and answering back…. Child abuse needs to be talked about more.
Sincerely,
Natasha

Time: January 28, 2018 at 7:52 pm

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Reader: I have come to the place, that while painful, my rape still provides me with possibility.

Hello again, I hope that today is a good day for you, with new possibilities for the coming year. Your book, that I read several months ago still resonates powerfully with me and was instrumental in finding peace and empowerment. On reflection of your words, it occurred to me to say that from my experience, the full impact of the rape/abuses I experienced are not the sole responsibility of the abusers/rapist(s).

The acts themselves were painful, yes. The ones that happened repeatedly, I got used to and developed a way of removing mind from the place I was in. But the physical injuries healed within a week. The real impact by far, what really stuck, was the shame I felt for many years. I was to blame. I should never have found myself in that position. Why couldn’t I have prevented it? While I didn’t provide consent for being raped (being blind drunk), neither did I fight for all I was worth while I was violently violated by two men I’d just met. I spent years ruminating on the moments like when the taller one said “Where do you think you’re going?” before I found myself on the bed. Why hadn’t I shouted or kicked him in the balls then?…

I took on the blame and shame from other people’s reactions (notably women, I observed) and while they were never identified or convicted, I imposed my own life sentence on myself. Letting yourself off the hook, or denying your part is one thing Brent, and I acknowledge your courage in taking on the responsibility for your role and suggest that you may be taking on more than is yours.

I read with interest, your view that “rape is worse than murder.” I have come to the place, that while painful, my rape still provides me with possibility. The story I tell about my experience is mine to tell, and I no longer feel that it ruined my life. It’s brought a new level of relatedness to others, to women, to men, to children, to you. If I were to meet those men again, I have realised just this second, as I’m writing these words, that I would thank them. If they’d murdered me, I wouldn’t be able to do that would I? If I’d succeeded in murdering myself , as I had considered and prepared for, I wouldn’t be in this place now. Today, I’m grateful, awake to being alive and I believe in that possibility for everyone, without exception.

I ‘ve recently watched a film called “The Work” which documents an extraordinary programme which takes place at Folsom State Prison. Run by the Inside Circle Foundation. The men who participated having experienced traumatic, chaotic, abusive pasts come to tell of their experiences and with great courage and vulnerability proceed to breakthrough.

I was deeply moved and my mind came to you, as I was watching. I asked myself, what would it be like if this was available for you. You may already be aware of this programme and foundation. If not, you may want to take a look…

With love and respect to you (both), Emily

January 11, 2018

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grab the faces of people who choose to look away from the abuse and exploitation of children

Dear Amy, thank you for your profound and powerful contribution. I watched your you tube video and read the blog and was profoundly moved by the courage of both yourself and Brent. Having experienced rape, it has brought me to a place of forgiveness both for the rapists, those who I’ve blamed as enablers of rape and finally myself. I have no idea where this comes from, and it may sound perverse to some, but I believe the world is a better place because Brent is in it, to shake up the status quo, to speak out about abuse, to grab the faces of people who choose to look away from the abuse and exploitation of children.

However hard a lesson he has brought to the world, a powerful lesson it is. And it is because of this that I right in concern for his welfare. Having read the last couple of entries that he’s sent to you, the tone feels different and I may be way off the mark but it may be idea to check if he has intentions of suicide. He may not have the means, so is probably safe but to ask the question all the same.. From someone who has had experiences of feeling hopelessness, and sensing it in others drives me to take action to prevent someone ending their life. There’s always possibility for a person in life (of goodness, inspiration, love etc), that possibility ends abruptly in death and the pain doesn’t end. It is merely transferred to others. Apologies if this is a waste of your time; however, I don’t apologise if I’m wrong and have misunderstood his writing – I’d rather check that live with regret. With best wishes to you and to Brent.

–Emily, Southwest England.

September 12, 2017

Hello, Emily,

I did not think you would mind–I sent the content of your message (with your first name only) to Brent Brents, and he replied.

If you want to read his response–he was grateful-it’s copy and pasted below.

I would like to post your letter and his response on the website if that’s OK with you, using your first name only and that you are from Southwest, England.

Let me know if that’s OK.

Take care,

–Amy

September 13, 2017

—————————

Hello, Amy, Absolutely, I trust your judgement…

–Emily

January 11, 2017

 

Dear Emily,

Yes in answer to your Q. I have often thought of suicide lately. Not that i would do it. Amy and others have put a life times worth of work into showing me that love and compasion are real and worth living for. And living to give. And yes suicide creates more pain than it eases. I could never bring myself to hurt those who do love and care for me in such a selfish way.

I do not get to read but little of the blog, so i am not sure how much Amy has put on there about my Manic Depression. The drugs work pretty well. It is when i am stressed that they lose some and i either freak out or get depressed. Sometimes it is quite a roller coaster of emotion. I know in my manic state Amy and my friends would often like to strangle me. 🙂 I can be a real ass, and not know it.

Right now i am dealing with where they are going to place me after get out of this six month confinement. If they put me in general population i will be hurt or even killed. So i am trying to go to protective custody. But there is a process, and no garuntee that that is where i will be placed. So i am continually stressed these days.

Fearing for my safety isn’t new to me. But the thought of not being around to love and care for, and have A, and F. as the most vital part of my exsistance chills me deeply. Its a fear i am not used to.

So Emily, no your Q is not off the mark or a waste of time. Thank you for concern. Sincerely, Brent.

September 27, 2017

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Prison is no longer about punishment. It is a business, world wide.

These days its children who are coming through the gates. Fresh faced. some already hardened little criminals. Gang members, murderers, rapists, and drug dealers, and users. Prison is no longer about punishment. It is a business, world wide. I keep hearing this statement from Inmates.  The judge sent me here that was my punishment. Not all these stupid rules we have to follow, and do what these stooped cops tell me to do.
I won’t lie people, there are purely idiotic people on each side of the divide. Stooped barely covers the extent of their choices. There is a lot of tit for tat negativity between inmates and staff. There is hatred that permeates the air in prison. I actually sit and watch all of these things happen each day. Its senility on this grand scale. My days are pretty interesting. Don’t get me wrong, I too have my share of issues. I have serious problems with authority. I am very impatient with ignorance, and ignorant people. Especially if they know what they are doing is just plain fucked up.
Prison is what you make of it. You can make it hell for yourself, or find a way to navigate your way thru the bullshit. Seeing a fight, a sexual encounter, a drug transaction, inmates so high they nod out in chow halls and day rooms. Even here in the yard. All I can say is what a world it is in prison.

-Brent Brents 9-4-16

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