Have i told you about my air vent. Holy Shit. The Damn thing would blow a small dog all over the place. It blows right at my face when I’m sleeping. So i have to put my big green Duffle bag in front of it to keep it off my face. Problem is, it’s right next to my toilet seat. So each time i have to pee i have to move it. So i don’t splash on it. 😦 I’m super freaky about clean so get unnerved by the whole situation. I know I’m crazy. 🙂
-Brent Brents 8-16-17
Foggy here, how bout there? It burned off pretty quick yesterday. Good For you. Nice sunny day and evening at home w/ the pack. Damn i envy you. Do you know what i would give to ride or play with the dogs and cats. Even the coo of a calm chicken in my arms sounds good. Just to Love on an animal. You are blessed don’t Take it for granted.
-Brent Brents 6-20-17
So on the way here in that death trap transport truck we hit a bump in the road which threw me about a foot in the air. Next thing i know i hit my crotch from my asshole to my balls, and this terrible pain racks me down there. That was Wed. Thursday i woke up with what i know to be a cist. It was baseball size. I was in excrutiating pain. Because of my transition status i could not be taken to a hospital. Thur, Fri, Sat, no sleep and the worst pain I’ve experienced in years. Sat afternoon caboosh it explodes. Blood, pus everywhere my stool, my coveralls, socks, boxers, shoes all ruined. It’s still bleeding…I’ll have to have it rinsed from the inside out. Plus i have a one inch gash that needs suturing also from the inside out. But although the rupture was pass out painful and God awful messy the relief was instantaneous. Whew!!! So now I’m wearing toilet paper man pads to keep from bleeding every where. They are probably tired of me ruining sheets and blankets boxers and coveralls. I know horrible right!
-Brent Brents 6-19-17
Fuck I’m Feeling old. Greg Allmans dead, Guns N Roses are classic rock. Trump the chump is president. What the hell Else can get weird for me. But hey what else can i expect I’m an old soul and i missed my decade.
So been thinking alot about [two boys he molested] and what they are like now. I wonder if [one of them] is fucked up or if his natural compasion and Intellegence have carried him thru life and helped him get over what i did to him. [the other boy] i think will be an angry person. Not just because of me. But his whole situation. I just hope i didn’t Fuck them up too bad.
So back to [the first boy]. I’m not sure why i still care, but i do. I guess partly because i really gave a shit about him then. Plus he reminded me so much of me at that age. I just knew i fucked up so bad with him. He really trusted me and loved me. I still remember the first time he called me dad how big my heart swole up w love and pride. Man what a shit i am for hurting him like that. Poor kid was so confused about stuff. Do you know he apologized to me secretly one day for telling. God what a bastard i was. I just hope he became a good man w/out all those poisons i had as i grew up. I realy tried to love him right.
-Brent Brents 6-11-17
Oh did i tell you i have no more hair? Yes i broke down and had it all cut off. It is so hard to care for in the hole and well, no more OCD meds means the bugs will come back and I’ll itch myself to death. (The bugs are already back.) I”m already itching badly. Damn Bugs 😦
I’m running around with half of a Right eye brow. 🙂 HA! No OCD Meds! It’s been tuff no doubt. Alot of Anxiety, Boredom, and eating out of Both. I really have to watch the mania. But at least i get to talk to my counselor every two weeks. It really helps. Alot more than the every 90 days.
-Brent Brents 6-5-17