Tag Archives: cop

by Amy Herdy | December 9, 2018 · 9:05 pm

More from the deputy who knew Brents in jail: “the malice and instability that resided within him was so think it was nearly tangible”

It’s interesting to me that any time I think of Brents, the first thing that comes to mind is how he carried himself. He always hunched over, shoulders always curled in. He always tried to minimize himself and make himself appear non-threatening. My thoughts were always along the line of, “you’re not fooling anyone,” the malice and instability that resided within him was so thick it was nearly tangible. I don’t know if it was a conscious decision on his part or a subconscious act to either attempt to hide the monster within or perhaps as a result of his own traumas. I think it’s the monster attempting to hide.

Did you ever have the opportunity to spend time with him in person? Did you notice that behavior as well? One thing working in a jail or prison setting does is give the cop a very good education in human behavior. You spend hours each day watching people and how they interact with the world around them. I’ve read through some of the blog, some of his claims that he is working to be a better person, to basically chain the monster inside. My opinion, for all that it is worth (which isn’t much) is, since no one can visually witness him curling in on himself to hide the monster, he is now doing it with words. That monster will never be caged and will always seek an opportunity to victimize. It’s just a longer game for him now. I don’t believe he can ever be habilitated enough to be trusted around anyone he could possibly victimize. Given the slightest opportunity he will pounce and the words he is sharing now are working to groom and create that opportunity. Maybe I am biased and my armchair psychology certainly is irrelevant overall.

At the end of the day, I’m glad you put the whole story out there. It was a brave thing for you to do. I don’t believe I would have had the intestinal fortitude to walk the same path with him and deal with everything that comes with following this and continuing a relationship with him for so many years.

Thank you again for the book.

-Name withheld upon request

Dec. 4, 2018 10:21 p.m.

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Tagged as Brents, cop, human behavior, jail, monster, prison, the monster inside, trauma, victim, victimize

by Amy Herdy | February 13, 2017 · 1:46 pm

i hated his ugly little hood rat glasses so i smashed them too

Dear Amy,

So yes, i fucked up big time. Did i plan for it? No! Was i fully aware? To a point. Yet i just did not have control of my mind. When the young man hit me i was nonplussed. Confused. Like what the hell did he hit me for. Clearly i had put my hand down and was on the retreat. But my mind went way back in time to when Ron hit me in the face and hurt me really bad. This kid was weak Amy barely any force behind the punch. But i saw Rons huge fist slam into the left side of my cheek, and this blinding rage hit me so hard so deep that i was going to kill this kid. And I comenced to do just that. I don’t really remember what i did but it was bad. My knuckles are still scabbed over and painfully swollen. Almost 30 days later. I was officially arrested and released into DOC custody. The DA has not said explicitly what for. It really doesn’t matter. I will plea to whatever they bring.

I’m very sorry i disapointed you. I can’t explain the rage. I know it was partly PTSD related…Man what a fuckin idiot i am. I just can’t figure it out why can’t i stop it when i see it coming. I makes no sence. My brain was screaming at me to just Just listen to him. But my hate and bitterness over road all senses. I scared the poor kid and he punched me. I deserved it i know that i did. I bated him into it. What really surprised me is that i didn’t end up pretty broken up under that pile of 10 cops. My right face and forehead were road rashed and my back was a bit sore from the knees. But oh i hated his ugly little hood rat glasses so i smashed them too.

I don’t know where my head is at Amy. Mostly disapointed and pissed off at myself. I Don’t Know what going to happen. But when i do I’ll let you know. L ya Rockstar.

-Brent Brents 1-9-17

Note from Amy: This letter followed a phone call where I was told that Brents had beaten a prison guard, who thankfully was not killed but was indeed injured.

judgement

Asshole took the yard hostage all day long. Kicking the windows and door and screaming. Having the cops going up and down the stairs all day. But he pussed out right before they were going to gas him. They moved him to the fuck up Pod. I just think the universe once again delivers its judgement.

-Brent Brents 5-1-15