Tag Archives: rape

torturing innocent people

Note from Amy: I debated posting the following excerpt of a recent letter from Brent Brents because I had such a strong negative reaction to it. Later, I re-read it and decided there is merit in posting what he had to say because it’s an example of his motivations and mindset. More on that in a moment.

As always, visitors to this website should realize that its content can be triggering. It’s not my intention to cause anyone pain; rather, I’m trying to do a small part to raise awareness about the issues of child abuse, child sexual abuse and rape that are found in the case of Brent Brents so that we can figure out how to prevent these crimes.

Now, about what he wrote: In the following excerpt, Brents is referring to a  young boy he molested. The child was the son of a single mother who Brents dated brieflly, and the story is told in the book, Diary of a Predator: A Memoir, which details the devastating impact the case had on the child, his mother and the rest of their family.

So much of child sexual abuse is the tragic repetition of patterns, and this situation was a reflection of that. Abused himself as a child, Brent Brents was repeating a pattern of sexual abuse on this boy. The difference is that the boy told his mother and she reported it, so the abuse did not continue for a long period of time.

As always, the content is presented here exactly as Brents wrote it:

I have been thinking about my inability to be Non-sexual with Ian. I might Not make sense but i really thought i was giving him Something he was missing. I was good to him for the most part. But it was me who had the Need Not Ian. Hell to be honest the Kid had his shit together more than any of us.

I know i manipulated him and twisted shit in my own Mind to convince myself he wanted the sexual attention. The Sad thing is that he snuck over to my place one day to apologize for getting me into trouble. Crying Sobbing that it was his fault. I begged him to forgive me and Reassured him that i was wrong and it wasn’t his fault.

Never did i imagine things like this would be the things that Work to better me mentaly. Its taken all these years to work thru the denials. None of it feels good in the moment of realization. There is nothing for me to celabrate. No milestone markers. But i hope that somehow men who are prone to sexual violence and predatory behaviors can learn early on. Instead of spending years in tortured minds and torturing innocent people.

Brent Brents4-13-13

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if i block out their cries

Note from Amy–See the previous post. Brent Brents was captured in February 2005 after one final crime spree during Valentine’s Day weekend when he committed several rapes. He is referring to that here as well.

So February went quick for me this year. I still struggle w/ the memories, shame and guilt. I still won’t give up the memories, I’m pretty sure if i block out their cries, and looks of pain i would be avoiding whats most important. Empathy.

I do confess I don’t know alot about it, but i am growing into a man who feels other peoples pain.

-Brent Brents 2-24-14

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So it’s time to quit letting emotions guide my cowardice

Note from Amy: Brent Brent’s last vicious crime spree happened the weekend of Valentine’s Day, 2005, during which he raped several victims, including a grandmother and her two granddaughters. I can’t imagine what the horror of that anniversary means to those survivors. It also fills Brents with self loathing, and it’s the significance of that date he’s referring to in the following excerpt from a recent letter, posted here exactly as he wrote it:

So it’s grow up time. Each year at this time i just shut off. Thats really childish i think. Why Not face it all. Deal with what i feel and accept the discomfort. I can still picture it all and it has become a painfull thing to see what i did to those i hurt.

Disconnect is easy.

So This weekend i spoke to a friend at her urging and at length. 9 years i guess seems like a long time. And makes it easier to ignore. But it isn’t easy at all. Decisons and things i chose to do still don’t make since. One of the worst and most personally painfull is playing God. Choosing one persons life over another. There was No sense in it that Night and i can’t find any now. So i feel the pain of those i hurt.

I knew it as a child, carried it with me into a disfunction adulthood, and used it to justify violence hatred and cruelty. I see shows on TV where people are hurt in the ways i hurt people. I feel like i can’t breath because i ache For them and their loved ones. It doesn’t feel good at all to know i caused This feeling to so many people thruout my life.

So it’s time to quit letting emotions guide my cowardice when it comes to being responsible for what i have done.

-Brent Brents 2-20-14

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The beatings, and fear, and rape that permiated my life

So It was pretty cold the other Night. And I woke up cold and having to pee. And immediately went back to my childhood. How i would wake up cold and wet and in fear of him either catching in the bathroom, wanting a blow job, or finding out i wet the bed.

The beatings, and fear, and rape that permiated my life back then. It’s surprising what can trigger those memories. And even now I still wake with a start Now and then. Feeling that old fear, even though I haven’t wet the bed since i was 13.

And I’m still able to know that old feeling of fear angers Me. It’s Vulnerable and i don’t like it. No One does, I forget that sometimes. And i get wrapped up in my own head and emotions, So i forget that I’ve caused so many others these same emotions.

I always hope that those i hurt are able to forget me and live free of the hell that myself and others cause thru rape and abuse.

-Brent Brents 1-26-14

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Help Stop Military Sexual Assault: Call Your Senator Right Now

Want to help stop rape? Then pick up your phone after you read this and call your senator.

I’m on the email list for director Kirby Dick and producer Amy Ziering, the creators of the outstanding documentary, “The Invisible War,” a film about the crisis of sexual assaults within the U.S. military. I’m interviewed in the film because of my work covering the issue, primarily the series I coauthored at the Denver Post called “Betrayal in the Ranks.”

Right now, the Invisible War team need your help. Please read the message below and then make the call. Help end hell.

From Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering:

This is it. Game time. The moment we’ve all been working towards.

Forty-nine people are raped each day with zero prosecutions; it is not conscionable. We can no longer stand idly by.

As soon as next week, #NotInvisible champion Senator Kirsten Gillibrand will be reintroducing the Military Justice Improvement Act (MJIA) as an amendment to next year’s military budget. This single piece of legislation could be a categorical game changer — as it places the reporting and prosecution of assault crimes into the hands of impartial adjudicators.

With this system in place, our service members will finally feel safe reporting these crimes — and perpetrators will stand a better chance of getting caught and punished. Our service members sacrifice so much to defend our rights. Isn’t it time we defended theirs?

Please call your senators today and urge them to support the Military Justice Improvement Act: 1.888.907.6886

A bipartisan coalition of 47 Senators has come together in support of the MJIA, but because of a threatened filibuster, the measure needs 60 votes to pass — not just 51.

Will you help us get to 60 votes? Call your senators TODAY and urge them to support the Military Justice Improvement Act. Call 1.888.907.6886 to contact your senators now and let them know it’s time to create an unbiased system for military justice.

It’s time to pass the MJIA. We’re so close. Please call today and forward this to others!

Together, we can do this! Together, we are #NotInvisible.

Amy and Kirby
http://www.notinvisible.org/

PS: We want to hear from you too! Let us know how your call went and what your senators said by sending an email to info@notinvisible.org.

You can click here to see if your senators have already signed on to the MJIA.

If they have, thank them. Remind them why it’s so important to you that they support the MJIA. If they haven’t, call 1.888.907.6886 as soon as possible to urge them to add their name.

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the cycle in Childhood

Some things just blow my Mind. Some day maybe the world will have a different view. We’ve got to prevent and enterupt the cycle in Childhood. Sadly most people who have had the emotional high of rape, will more often than not, continue to rape. Especialy if their victims don’t come forward.

Brent Brents 8-25-13

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a rape upon her soul

So did you hear about the Judge who Sentenced a school teacher to 30 days in Jail for raping his 14 year old student. That is only the half of it. The prick blamed the girl; saying she was responsible because she was physicaly and emotionaly older than She appeared and that she was manipulating and calculative. She killed herself because she couldn’t deal with the whole situation. 30 days and the blame layed on her. This judge needs to be off the bench. And forced to be put on the sexual offender Registry. He may not have physicaly Raped the girl. His actions were themselves a rape upon her soul. These types of people and things that happen in the victims side of the Legal system, Make that silent victim feel justified in that Silence. Which sucks really bad.

-Brent Brents 8-25-13

 

 

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Rape is not a side effect of hormones

Note from Amy: In the following, Brent Brents is referring to a remark made in June by U.S. Senator Saxby Chambliss where he said that hormones may be a factor in military sexual assaults.

Chambliss, R-Georgia, was addressing military officials when he said, “The young folks that are coming into each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22-23. Gee whiz — the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur.”

The remark prompted Brents, who is serving 1,500  years on charges that include sexual assault, to write the following:

Saxby Chambliss your a bafoon. To blame anything other than choice is purely Ludicris. Rape is not a side effect of hormones. Young soldiers, old soldiers, makes no difference, Hormones do affect all of us in some ways sexualy. Rape is Not one of those.

That’s as crude and plainly stoopid as someone saying well they wanted it, or they liked it. What the hell were you thinking. Basicaly with your hormones statement, you’ve emotionally attacked those victims who have been raped in the military. And made rape sound like a right of passage.

When i watched you on C-Span make that completely uneducated and stoopid statement, I was shocked. Yes me of all people was shocked. Do I have the right to lash out at you probably not. But hey we can chalk it up to my hormones being unbalanced.

Brent Brents 7-22-13

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More Reader Response: if a kid is being abused…something needs to be done

Note from Amy: The following comment was sent by someone other than the first two readers regarding this thread started by the woman in Amsterdam:

This may be a more comprehensible translation:

” One always has a choice between good or evil, regardless of being a victim or not. If people didn’t have that choice half the world would be in jail. So this is complete nonsense.
To people like Brent Brents: begone, all you are is a financial burden to society.”

It could be turned around as well. It’s easy to say you always have a choice, if you yourself have not been growing up in a household where violence and rape is a daily routine.

I myself have been blessed with a very happy childhood. Being loved and being cared about was a normal every day situation for me. I was raised by parents who had certain values and standards. And as a result I turned out pretty normal (I think). I work hard and I try and be a good person. I’ve never committed a crime in my life nor am I planning to do so in the future.

I am not saying I would be a horrible serial killer if I had been raised by abusive parents. I’m saying the chances of me being a good person would be slimmer. I strongly believe an adult’s personality is the result of nature and nurture. You are born with certain personality traits and the development during your child and teen years shape the rest of your personality.

Two people might be born with an addictive personality. One grows up in a loving family, the other by an abusive one. One of those becomes a smoker, the other gets hooked on the thrill of committing crimes.

Then again, your parents being shipped off to jail and then having to live in foster homes and such might also be fairly traumatic.

We will never know if Brents actions could have been prevented by actively doing something about his home situation. But hell, if a kid is being abused by his parents I think we can all at least agree, something needs to be done about that.

Do not get me wrong: Brents SHOULD be in jail for the horrible things he has done. But it’s good that there’s a discussion on this website. It means people are actively thinking about the issue. Which means they might act when they see a child in need and perhaps even prevent that child from becoming abusive in their adulthood.

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South African Reader: “Parents make their kids into killers”

Note from Amy: The following comment was sent to this website, Diary of a Predator, after the South African viewer watched the Paula Zahn show about the Brent Brents case:

I have watched Brents story and as i view this site and read everyones comments i notice that what Amy is trying to explain is that its not about Brent but everywhere, he is the guinea pig. We dont know how many become like brent in the world, there isnt just a black and white but many shades in between.

What is more disturbing about this is the amount of abuse happening and mostly to children. Look at how many of you wrote saying you were abused. I am truly saddened and this all boils down to 2 people being careless, getting pregnant and going through with it even though they dont want kids. Then taking it out on them! People who are labelled parents earn it! By providing a safe haven, loving and protecting no matter how poor you are.

I have a son who is 4 i live in a tiny home, but my God i dont know what the future holds but i make sure my son has food, shelter, education and that he is loved and that he is not a burden and that even though i too was in an abusive home where my father did drugs, drank, got abusive etc, and raped by men. I make it my goal to not let my son become like that. That he will know his home is safe.

I live in south africa which has the highest rape, murder etc in the world but you dont hear what happens here. Everyone says brent had a choice, no he didnt! From the time he was born he didnt, so how can you expect him to know how to make a choice or expect him to know what that means or have logic or any other in this situation. Parents make their kids into killers . They learn from what they see and experience, not from what they are told.

Time: Monday May 13, 2013 at 2:09 am

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