God | Diary of a Predator

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by Amy Herdy | March 1, 2014 · 1:05 pm

So it’s time to quit letting emotions guide my cowardice

Note from Amy: Brent Brent’s last vicious crime spree happened the weekend of Valentine’s Day, 2005, during which he raped several victims, including a grandmother and her two granddaughters. I can’t imagine what the horror of that anniversary means to those survivors. It also fills Brents with self loathing, and it’s the significance of that date he’s referring to in the following excerpt from a recent letter, posted here exactly as he wrote it:

So it’s grow up time. Each year at this time i just shut off. Thats really childish i think. Why Not face it all. Deal with what i feel and accept the discomfort. I can still picture it all and it has become a painfull thing to see what i did to those i hurt.

Disconnect is easy.

So This weekend i spoke to a friend at her urging and at length. 9 years i guess seems like a long time. And makes it easier to ignore. But it isn’t easy at all. Decisons and things i chose to do still don’t make since. One of the worst and most personally painfull is playing God. Choosing one persons life over another. There was No sense in it that Night and i can’t find any now. So i feel the pain of those i hurt.

I knew it as a child, carried it with me into a disfunction adulthood, and used it to justify violence hatred and cruelty. I see shows on TV where people are hurt in the ways i hurt people. I feel like i can’t breath because i ache For them and their loved ones. It doesn’t feel good at all to know i caused This feeling to so many people thruout my life.

So it’s time to quit letting emotions guide my cowardice when it comes to being responsible for what i have done.

-Brent Brents 2-20-14

Reader Questions: Does Brent Brents Believe in God? Has He Apologized?

Note from Amy: Earlier this month I received a couple of questions to this website, Diary of a Predator, which I forwarded to Brent Brents. I received his answer today by mail, so here are the questions from the reader, and below that, my reply and Brents’.

-Amy

Hello Amy Herdy,

I wonder if you’ll ever meet others.

One question–you or Brent Brents believe in God?

He already apologized to God or to the families he destroyed?

Sincerely,
Daniel Costa

Hi, Daniel,

Thanks for writing. In answer to your first question–I have interviewed other sexual offenders over the years, although none as predatory as Brents.

As for your second question-I do believe in a higher power, albeit not necessarily a traditional one. I write about that in the book, Diary of a Predator: A Memoir.

And here is what Brent Brents wrote:

Q: Do I believe in God?

A: Simply Yes. I practice the Catholic faith (much to learn).

Q: Have i apologized to God or the Families i have destroyed?

A: I have asked God for his forgiveness and Mercy. As for the families, I have but i have Never expected any of them to accept my apologies. Instead i work at being a better human being, and i pray For them daily.

To Return to Q #1: I find this quote sums up faith:

“For i do Not seek to understand that i May believe, but i believe in order to understand. For this also i believe: That unless i believe, I will not understand.” –Saint Anselm