Tag Archives: Brents

Reader: I’m starting with this woman and moving forwards

Hi Amy,

I hope this email reaches you well. I’ve been checking into the blog and reading some great responses, as Brent advised; I’m so pleased that your message and efforts are gaining momentum…
I was moved by Brent’s last response and remain inspired by his self examination, exploration and willingness to change his position/perception. It is his response that gives me the (albeit uneducated) belief that he is not all ‘pathological predator’ and has access to his own capacity of mind or freedom of choice and will. I’m sure psychiatric opinion and even Brent himself would disagree with that belief.
My last response to Brent via the blog was delayed and my explanation to him was intentionally somewhat vague. I’m particularly mindful of a boundary between sharing my experience and ’emotional dumping’ on either you or Brent. The latter I’m not up for in the slightest. I have no expectation of either of you to facilitate, enable or otherwise be responsible for my healing: I’m inspired regardless.
Recently, the outcome of a high profile rape case was published, you may have heard of it. The Belfast Rape Case is currently doing the rounds in the UK media, where 2 rugby players were found not guilty of raping a young woman. Since then, there has been a public social media focus on the “bragging and mysogynistic” texts between these 2 individuals and others after the event. Details of these conversations were shared in court to the extent that certain slang terms such as “spit roasting” had to be explained to the judge and jury. It was these details that particularly sicken me. The outcome of case & verdict serve to assure me I was right to keep quiet 20 years ago and save myself and my family from public shame..
For this case relates so closely to my experience of being raped at both ends while at University by two visiting ‘hockey heros’ who found their own particular way to top their winning night and become ‘legends of the locker room’, by engaging in sex with someone so inebriated as to have been incapable of providing consent, were it to have been sought.
I’ve sporadically dipped into the progress of this case with mixed feelings of injustice, morbid curiosity, disbelief and anger that this behaviour still goes unacknowledged. I’m convinced this is the tip of the iceberg. I kept quiet about it 20 years and from the outcome of this case, it seems I was wise to do so. How many other vulnerable women (and men) will be encouraged to do the same?
I recall that you covered and wrote extensively about this very rotten issue across Universities and in the Military, particularly. It saddens and angers me that this practice is so widespread: 20 years on from my experience, young women remain vulnerable and unheard. Men meanwhile, remain left with the message that this is standard behaviour to be ignored at best and or rewarded by these locker room louts masquerading as “sporting legends” at worst.
To prevent this happening to just one woman, man or child to lift the burden of their shame and self enduced life sentence would be incredible… this is my intention. I’m starting with this woman and moving forwards from there…
The last couple of months have been pretty dark, and I haven’t felt partucularly courageous or hopeful following the outcome of that case. Hence, I havent been in touch, while I deal with this emotional trigger and move forwards.
I just wanted to reassure you that I remain passionate and willing about supporting you and Brent in any way I can: for your message that so inspired me, to grow and contribute to tipping the balance.
With gratitude and best wishes,
Emily
April 13, 2018

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no verifiable threat to his safety at this time

From Amy: Brent Brents applied for protective custody at his new prison and was turned down. Here’s an excerpt from the “Notice of Protective Custody Decision”:

“The Committee determined Brent Brents should not be placed in protective custody due to there being no verifiable threat to his safety at this time…”

Generally, inmates in prison for being serial rapists don’t fare well in general population. We’ll see how this goes.

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We have become a society of monster makers.

Comment: Hi Amy,

I just watched your TED Talk on the Brents case. Back when I was studying for an Administration of Justice degree, I remember studying serial killer cases with curiosity at first, but they seemed to run together and became boring to me . . . turns out evil is boring. Human decency really fascinated me because it seemed rarer in media headlines (by design for ad revenue?)

However, when I studied the Carl Panzram case, I was jolted to the core. His acts were no more or less heinous than other “monsters,” but his childhood upbringing really hit me hard. We have become a society of monster makers.

Are you familiar with his case? Books and a feature film were made about it all.

Brent Brents immediately reminded me of Carl Panzram. Your involvement in the Brents case is very similar to Henry Lesser’s intervention with Panzram. He was the one prison guard who treated Panzram as a human being without forgetting for a second the evil he was capable of in his broken state.

Anyway, thanks for talking about this!
Suzanne

Time: March 18, 2018 at 3:57 pm
Contact Form URL: https://diaryofapredator.com/contact/
Sent by a verified WordPress.com user.

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Sadly i was pure predator by then.

He’s right. CATC was a damn good place to get help. I just wasn’t trusting or caring enough. I know of only 2 other guys in our group who Reoffended Sexualy. Pablo, Dodi, and Bill put alot of effort into me. Sadly i was pure predator by then. I learned the Language, Manipulated my way thru it in the end.

–Brent Brents

1-14-18

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every guy in here says they poison the food

Ok so this pod I’m in is OK. A couple guys i can’t trust. But overall pretty peaceful. 2 hrs of Dayhall in the morning-2 in the afternoon or evening Depending on the schedule. 1 hr of yard 3 days per week. All the yards are about 35 yards wide and deep. Solid concrete. We don’t go to yard with GP. It’s usualy pretty Quiet in here. But we have some very weak minded individuals on the upper tier. Always talking Shit and dropping Snitch Kites on us. I got told on for something i didn’t do.

But it’s just immature dudes playing the boy who cried wolf. The COs even get it. Believe me I’m not in any BS. If it starts getting crazy i just Lock up…

I’m hoping to get to [a different facility]. Yet i’m not sure i want to. Only because GP cooks the food. And every guy in here says they poison the food with blood, semen, spit, feces, urine, and Toe and Finger nails. As well as other foreign matter.

-Brent Brents

1-9-18

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My trauma will be with me for the rest of my life but I’m a fighter

Amy- I watched your whole video on Have you ever met a Monster. I will be honest, at first when I started to watch it I couldn’t listen objectively. I was unable to understand from the rapist’s point of view because I usually don’t have compassion for them. When I watched your video for the second time, I watched the whole thing and my views were changed a little. You are right, we need to change the way we view monsters.

Brent Brents- I understand exactly how you feel, you feel angry and betrayed by those around you. I’m so sorry for all the trauma you went through as a young boy. It wasn’t your fault and you didn’t deserve it.

—————–

I know it’s difficult. I’m angry at the fact he got zero help..no one saw what was going. I’m not pitying him, I feel sad for his inner child…. It’s awful. In my own trauma I definitely am angry that my abuser got away with it and that the foster parent at the time chose to ignore it. But I’m so lucky to have gotten adopted into a loving and supportive family.

My trauma will be with me for the rest of my life but I’m a fighter, and I’ve made it this far.
Thank you so much for reading the comments and answering back…. Child abuse needs to be talked about more.
Sincerely,
Natasha

Time: January 28, 2018 at 7:52 pm

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Reader: I honestly believe that he wanted to be different than the person he became

I read your book and have followed the blog on and off over the years but not every post. In the book I noticed that one of the themes was that Brent “fell through the cracks” and that he never got the support for his own abuse.

My question is if he ever spoke about being locked up as a teen in a Youth program for violent and sexual offenders. C.A.T House. (Closed Adolescent Treatment Center)?

I do know that he was there for rape and that he was given every opportunity possible for some sort of rehabilitation and a chance to steer himself to a different life. The program at the time was the most successful program for youth offenders in the country.

I struggle with the idea that he had been totally cast aside because the truth is somewhat different from my perspective. Each individual is affected differently and someone wanting to change is critical but I do know he had the opportunity.  I may have missed it in the book but was curious if this was something he spoke to you about?

I have thought about sending this on and off over the years because I am torn in the idea that it is important for people to understand but also in the idea that he does not deserve a platform to manipulate and seek further attention. I do know that we have to help change the culture and environment that creates predators/victimizer’s and most importantly victims.

I appreciate your diligence in bringing a story forward that nobody really wanted to know or hear but is important to be told. Not for Brent but for all of the victims and for all of those who were abused and never found a voice.

Thank you,
Jason

January 5, 2018

——————————

Hello, Jason,

I will try to address your questions and concerns in order.

The first is that one of the themes of the book is that Brent “fell through the cracks.” While I do believe the facts of his case support that statement–that he was removed from an abusive home, and then returned–I don’t know that I would call it a theme. The themes of the book, in my opinion, are abandonment, generational patterns of abuse, the effects of both victimization and predatory behavior, and transformation that involves compassion and empathy.

Please do not misunderstand that I feel sorry for him. If you’re looking for clarity on how I feel about him and his case, you may want to read “The Story” on the website, in which I say in part:

“Where does the blame belong? It belongs to Brents, certainly, for his choices. And what of his parents, and their parents before them, who perpetuated the cycle of incest, domestic violence and child abuse?”

The book does not say, nor have I, that he never got support for his own abuse. He has said that he was given the chance for therapy and treatment–I do not recall him specifically mentioning the C.A.T. House, although I could ask him–and that by the time it was offered, he was not interested.

I do not believe that he was totally cast aside. I do believe him when he says that by the age of 9, his brain was broken, and that he chose to be a predator because it gave him a feeling of power, and that was more appealing than feeling like a victim.

I stay in touch with Brents, and post blogs from him, not to give him a platform to seek attention or be manipulative, but to show some of the causes of why he became predatory; that he is, indeed, human; and to illustrate his case, because so many elements of it are indicative of what’s wrong with our social justice system. I understand you object to the blog, and I appreciate you taking the time to tell me; however, please know that I will continue it.

I also appreciate the fact that you have obviously had some experience with this topic and cared enough to write. I now have a question for you: Would you object to my posting your letter on the website? I would not include your email address, of course. Let me know.

Last, I absolutely agree with you that we have to change the culture that creates predators and therefore, survivors.

Here’s to hoping for a brighter future.

Regards,

Amy

January 5, 2018

————————-

 Hi, Jason,

I had a chance to talk to Brents today, and he does remember being in the C.A.T. House. And he remembers a Jason who was serving time there, too, and spoke well of him.

If that’s you, then he sends a greeting.

Also, please let me know if it’s OK with you if I post your letter.

Regards,

Amy

January 12, 2018

—————————–

Hello Amy,

I do not want to create any issues for any of his victims or for you or lastly Brent,  so I will leave it to your judgement as to what is appropriate to post.

I was in the C.A.T House with Brent.  I know that the program, truly gave him/myself and others the chance to be better people and to change. While I do not think we can ever make amends for the wrongs we have done, we can live a life that serves others as well as ourselves. Has accountability and promotes healing of our own damage and demons.  That was a fundamental part of the program.

I do understand that some people were not in the place to change, did not want to change or perhaps were too broken to change. I can not say for anyone but myself.  I just wondered why it was something he never mentioned as it was a large portion of time for him (2 plus years I believe of intensive daily 24-7 treatment)

I can say that I have seen both sides of Brent from the perspective of a child, it breaks my heart that he continued to create more victims and I am beyond angry at who he chose to become. I am grateful that he is in a place where he has less opportunity to cause harm to others.

That being said,

I  also mourn for that young man who never lived a different life, he had hopes and dreams and at least then… I honestly believe that he wanted to be different than the person he became. I understand a minuscule amount of that abuse he suffered and I appreciate him being open about it.  My hope is that it will help to stop those who abuse children and those who will become abusers.  I hope that Brent finds some peace and can make what remains of his life valuable to himself and those that he involves himself with.  He still has a choice how he faces each day. I do think he can still use his life for the better, perhaps if he is being true this forum is just that.

I am going to read your book again tonight for some additional clarity.  I watched your T.E.D talk and I applaud you for continuing to wade into a subject that most people who have not experienced have little interest in talking about as it is not shiny and pretty. More so for those who have experienced it and were/are to broken and  ashamed to think they might deserve/need help before it is too late for themselves or someone else.

Thank you for the clarification and answers to my questions. In reading over them I think I could of been far more articulate and specific and have used less of a broad brush. I was mostly referencing my experience with Brent in his teens but I was about as clear as mud.  I  apologize for not being clear, it was uncomfortable to write and I should of taken more time. I do not think you felt sorry for him. I appreciate the balance you were able to find. Much like the Staff at the C.A.T house, my  perspective is that while condemning the acts and behavior, you were able to set that aside to see the larger picture and why it is important to share and attempt to educate. But also to see a young boy who before becoming a predator was preyed upon.

Thank you,

Jason

January 13, 2018

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grab the faces of people who choose to look away from the abuse and exploitation of children

Dear Amy, thank you for your profound and powerful contribution. I watched your you tube video and read the blog and was profoundly moved by the courage of both yourself and Brent. Having experienced rape, it has brought me to a place of forgiveness both for the rapists, those who I’ve blamed as enablers of rape and finally myself. I have no idea where this comes from, and it may sound perverse to some, but I believe the world is a better place because Brent is in it, to shake up the status quo, to speak out about abuse, to grab the faces of people who choose to look away from the abuse and exploitation of children.

However hard a lesson he has brought to the world, a powerful lesson it is. And it is because of this that I right in concern for his welfare. Having read the last couple of entries that he’s sent to you, the tone feels different and I may be way off the mark but it may be idea to check if he has intentions of suicide. He may not have the means, so is probably safe but to ask the question all the same.. From someone who has had experiences of feeling hopelessness, and sensing it in others drives me to take action to prevent someone ending their life. There’s always possibility for a person in life (of goodness, inspiration, love etc), that possibility ends abruptly in death and the pain doesn’t end. It is merely transferred to others. Apologies if this is a waste of your time; however, I don’t apologise if I’m wrong and have misunderstood his writing – I’d rather check that live with regret. With best wishes to you and to Brent.

–Emily, Southwest England.

September 12, 2017

Hello, Emily,

I did not think you would mind–I sent the content of your message (with your first name only) to Brent Brents, and he replied.

If you want to read his response–he was grateful-it’s copy and pasted below.

I would like to post your letter and his response on the website if that’s OK with you, using your first name only and that you are from Southwest, England.

Let me know if that’s OK.

Take care,

–Amy

September 13, 2017

—————————

Hello, Amy, Absolutely, I trust your judgement…

–Emily

January 11, 2017

 

Dear Emily,

Yes in answer to your Q. I have often thought of suicide lately. Not that i would do it. Amy and others have put a life times worth of work into showing me that love and compasion are real and worth living for. And living to give. And yes suicide creates more pain than it eases. I could never bring myself to hurt those who do love and care for me in such a selfish way.

I do not get to read but little of the blog, so i am not sure how much Amy has put on there about my Manic Depression. The drugs work pretty well. It is when i am stressed that they lose some and i either freak out or get depressed. Sometimes it is quite a roller coaster of emotion. I know in my manic state Amy and my friends would often like to strangle me. 🙂 I can be a real ass, and not know it.

Right now i am dealing with where they are going to place me after get out of this six month confinement. If they put me in general population i will be hurt or even killed. So i am trying to go to protective custody. But there is a process, and no garuntee that that is where i will be placed. So i am continually stressed these days.

Fearing for my safety isn’t new to me. But the thought of not being around to love and care for, and have A, and F. as the most vital part of my exsistance chills me deeply. Its a fear i am not used to.

So Emily, no your Q is not off the mark or a waste of time. Thank you for concern. Sincerely, Brent.

September 27, 2017

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I carry no shame for what someone else did to me

From a reader: I want to disclose am a survivor. I do not hide this fact. I carry no shame for what someone else did to me. However I do not typically feel the need to share the fact either. The truth is most people do not know this about me. I know that what you do as to Brent Brents revolts many people. Their response is a result of fear. When you look into the abyss … I am not sure how much if any positive feedback you receive. I wanted to tell you from the perspective of a survivor that I believe you are on to something. How can we begin to heal this epidemic if we cannot grasp any understanding of it? Keep up the good fight.
-Beau, Wednesday, Nov. 29, 2017 8:52 p.m.

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I’m super freaky about clean

Have i told you about my air vent. Holy Shit. The Damn thing would blow a small dog all over the place. It blows right at my face when I’m sleeping. So i have to put my big green Duffle bag in front of it to keep it off my face. Problem is, it’s right next to my toilet seat. So each time i have to pee i have to move it. So i don’t splash on it. 😦 I’m super freaky about clean so get unnerved by the whole situation. I know I’m crazy. 🙂

-Brent Brents 8-16-17

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