Category Archives: Prison

Bruce i don’t want anyone to justify what i did either. Not in the slightest. There are absolutely no excuses for what i did. I made the choices to do what i did, to hurt the people i did. I chose to do so with sexual violence. The same sexual violence i endured and came to understand in a sick dangerous way. I embraced it as a weapon because i knew the power and depth of emotional torture one could inflict thru sexual violence. Nothing can justify that.

Bruce goes on to say We all have problems and bad times in our lives. But not everyone goes that road i did. Absolutely true. Thus one of the motives for the TV and radio shows, the website and book. What is different between people like myself and those who survived, and got on with the process of life without victimizing others.

No Bruce i shouldn’t be idolized or empathized with. Yes i agree with the empathy part. Save the empathy for those who are in need of it. Those who were victims and truly need it, those who are as you read this being victimized and those who will be in the future.

“He is an animal, who chose to hurt people and rightly so, He Should Never see the light of day, outside a cell.” There are 365 days a year and probably 360 of them i agree. I have asked people to post their ideas about how to deal with people like myself. Well Bruce has done so. Not every opinion is going to be popular, Not every idea feasable, Not every thought clear, but this is what this site is for. Bruce No matter how you think or feel about me, I thank you for your post. You obviously didn’t like the program, but you care about the victims of violence to post your thoughts and feelings on this site. It may not mean Shit coming from me. But there are many out there who you can speak for. Thank you.

Brent Brents

Bruce says i gave up the right to be a human being. The truth is that i am not sure i ever truly knew what a human being was, or how to be one. What Bruce considers “Normal human behavior” was foriean and uncomfortable to me. And i simply didn’t know how to practice it, much less do it Your right bruce i did give up that right each time i acted out my rage and insecurities upon defenseless human beings.

Bruce reminds us that i said “I would continue to hurt, if i were released.”

A Sad Shitty truth! I doubt i would rape. at this point things are much different in my brain. The truth is i would probably find the first heroin dealer i could find and buy enough dope to o’d on. Simply because i didn’t then Nor do i now, have the mental ability to be a functioning free person. I don’t want to hurt anyone ever again.

Society isn’t always going to like, agree with or even respect what we are doing i do get that Amy. And i am perfectly ok with peoples feelings of outrage, disgust, mistrust and outright hatred for me and what i have done. As i told you its how its expressed. Deborah did it in a hurtful mean vicious way towards you. Simply Not cool. The way Pez-Bruce Lawrence is great. Expression without belittling you. What they say about me or how they say it doesn’t matter to me. I won’t disrespect the site or victims by letting my pride become the focus. I am also kinda depressed about Not Seeing any action statements. I guess i thought there would be more effort by people on that front. But i know it isn’t an easy thing for people to do.

–Brent Brents, 11-15-10 900 /p.m.

Normaly i would be asleep right now. Our No Shower days are Sundays and Wednesdays. But since we’ve been on lockdown since Monday and haven’t showered since Saturday They had to give us Showers today. Talk about nasty shower i was 7th out of 8. 😦  EEEW! Man it smelled like a swamp in there. You don’t need to know the rest…So i am thankful i have a running sink, flushing toilet and i can be happy about a shower every 4 days. Once you live in a Concrete cell, you actualy begin to see literaly how much dander one person can create. It’s Not a pleasant thought. Nor is the fact that we are alive with bacteria and microscopic creatures in the hundreds of millions.

Brent Brents 11-10-10 10:34 A.M.

I’ve really become obsessive these Last five years. It’s gotten so bad that i have literaly become compulsively Germ fearful. The other day this lady handed me my towel thru the shower slot and i saw her Nails. She has fake nails about a half inch past her finger tips. Underneath there was Gunk Nasty Crud like toe Jam. And when she was patting me down and her hands were on my shoulders her hands smelled like dirty pee puss. So by the time she took my cuffs off in the cell i felt like my shower was a waste. I had to wash up all over in my sink. 😦 I am sick that way for sure. This isolation does bad things to ones mind.

Brent Brents 9–20-10 12:30 A.M.

Watching “Lockdown” Denver County Jail. On National Geographic Channel. What an animal house. They aren’t showing much of the womens side. Mostly because they don’t want the public feeling any sympathy for them. The women got it bad. it’s always been bad for the guys but the guys are financialy usualy better off. Women don’t often have Bros on the outside to take care of them. And most women who end up in prison or jail fall well below the poverty line. Pretty sad.

Brent Brents 10-3-10 11 00 p.m.

You and i Amy we are unique. Two very very different human beings. Yet so similar. Driven to figure out this thing that has affected us both. Five years ago we were stalking people. You for the scoop. Me for the release. 24/7 seeking to obey that adrenaline master. What No one gets is that we were so weary. Sleep deprived, Mentaly and emotionaly spent, unhealthy both physicaly and mentaly. We were literaly dying. In this strange self promoted way. Being Predatory is exhausting. Boo hoo! Many would say. But they don’t get that it becomes an addiction that eats at your very soul. Killing you and everything you love or want to. It eats at your brain. In one way or another you Neglect everything and everyone. And are too far gone to realize it or know how to stop. Capture death or miraculas intervention are the only way to stop. What a sad way to live ones life.

Brent Brents 12-1 10 2:23 A.M

I hope i have done right by all these last few years. It’s Not easy to have a brain that works the way Mine does. I don’t think they would understand, believe or care that i actualy suffer from an illness that i don’t think anyone will understand for a long time. I suppose that there is No Medical diagnosis for someone who unwantingly has violent sexual fantacies and ideas thousands of times a day some days. I suffer Continual Shame and guilt. I don’t want to be Like this Any More than anyone else does. It’s frustratingly Maddening. It affects so much of My day to day life. It drives me to the brink of suicide More often than i care to admit. I feel dirty and vile all the time. It sucks that i size up every womans sex as i see them. It doesn’t discriminate. Fat, Short, Old, Skinny, Pretty, Tall, Young. Red Blonde Black or Pink hair. Race or anything…I would rather be back on heroin and booze 24/7. At least by now i would be dead….I remember those women standing in that courtroom saying i hope you suffer the same pain you caused us. And the Judge saying i hope you use every day of this time to think about what you’ve done. Well they have no idea. Here i am. Not feeling Sorry for myself. This thing whatever it is eats at me every minute of every day for them. So much this thing drives me.

–Brent Brents

If your not in the gangs steer the fuck clear of them. Never keep drugs or weapons on you when you don’t need them and close at hand if you do. Junkies are considered weak. And drugs inevitably lead to conflict. If you have a hook up (a yard of staff member) who does you favors, Never tell a soul. If your having sex inmate or staff, Always be safe. Stay as healthy as possible always. Physicaly and emotionaly. And lastly the #1 rule about Prison Just when you think you have it all figured out, you find out you don’t know shit! Nothing is at seems and everything is what it is. Or so you think. There are about a Million MOre rules to go over. But they are to Numerous and exhausting. Things like don’t Mix with other races. Don’t sit at this table or that one. This gang gets the weight pile at this time. This phone is for these guys Yada Yada Ya.So Much B.S. Yet oddly important to your survival (Literaly!) If you think real politics are out there, They aint shit compared to prison politics. No one at the GOP Conventions will stab you 70 times if you call them a liar. In prison a candidate for position is likely to be killed to eliminate the opposition. In America Barrack was elected to run the country. In prison no black man will ever run a prison. Maybe a gang. But only white men run prisons on the inside.

–Brent Brents