Tag Archives: predator

what child abuse is doing to our society

Note from Amy:

A book club in Iowa recently read Diary of a Predator: A Memoir, and then reached out to me through this Diary of a Predator website to see if I would answer questions by phone during their book discussion. I did, and found them to be a very thoughtful and engaged group of women. Shortly afterward, one of them sent me this message:

Thank you, Amy, for the phone conversation with our book club. Thank you for writing Brent’s story. It was hard to read, but everyone should read it and try to understand what child abuse is doing to our society. You wrote so well that we all can gain knowledge and have hope that it will make a difference. Thank you.

-Delores

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what motivates these monsters

Note from Amy: The following comment was sent on Febuary 5 to this Diary of a Predator website, and is exactly the reason why I wrote the book:

Thank you more than I can tell you for all you are doing. I just told my dear wife of many years how excited I was to find your website. I too was violently, repeatedly abused by both parents – and by others – as a preschooler. I do not understand how, by God’s mercy and grace alone, I escaped becoming an abuser like B B [Brent Brents]. Whenever people say, “Nobody can understand what motivates these monsters.”, I shudder and think, “I can. I wish I couldn’t, but I can.” God bless you as you continue your work of kindness, compassion , understanding and hope for damaged human beings.

-Chris

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I can’t change the past

Note from Amy: In November, the following question was sent to me by a reader through this website, Diary of a Predator:

I do have a question for Brent. Since prison is punishment and supposed to help prevent crimes as a deterrent, do you think it is fair ( yes, I know nothing is fair) that you were granted an identity change and transfer in exchange for admitting guilt for what you had done?  The victims were not granted anything special and their identities are easily found on the internet. Do you feel that your punishment should be met with honesty, even if that means you will be targeted?

I conveyed the question to Brents, and this week I received his reply in the mail:

So i have been asked to answer whether or not the out of state housing stipulation is fair or Not. Well first let me say that no matter what Mitch Morrissey is telling people, I’m Not doing easy time. I’m doing the same administrative segragation time i would be doing in Colorado. Acutaly i have less privaledges here. Too bad huh.

So am i being to those i victimized. I believe there is Nothing fair about what i did, Nor can I ever do enough to be fair. So No, Not yesterday, today, or in the future. I stick to the process of staying out of arguing fair or unfair.

The bottom line is, how can i best serve out The justice those i hurt deserve. I believe spending each day for the rest of my life, aware of what i have done. The evil, The pain, The wrecking of people’s lives. And working w/ Amy on this web site. I can’t change the past, but i can hopefully help change the future. At least i am trying to do some good. Most sexual offenders go to prison and don’t care about what or who they hurt. Or do anything to make themselves better.

Brent Brents 12-15-13

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how the healing happened

Note from Amy:

The following comment was sent to this Diary of a Predator website in June, and inadvertently missed until recently. So here it is, better late than never:

Diary of a Predator Contact
Hello Amy, and anyone else listening. I just finished this book and am writing to thank you. Accepting that there is always more to who we are than what has happened TO us, and what we have DONE … is an essential piece of true connection – and you have lived this process and then shared the story, you and Brent both. Thank you Amy and Brent.

While it is true that many who live through horrendous trauma from very early life end up repeating destructive patterns, living as though it would be easier to die, or “becoming” the perpetrator, these are not the only possible answers. There is always more possibility, coupled with the original innocent child, hurt, but able to heal. I commend any effort to paint the reality of those truths, rather than only explore or sensationalize the more obvious destruction and pain.

Your process and work are about connection, and what true connection is all about. THAT — is the inherent drive of the innocent child, to know we are connected. there are many survivors of horrific childhoods who know this — how hard it can be to heal from early childhood trauma and ongoing violence, secrecy and varying levels of “dissociation” (it wasn’t me, it didn’t happen to me)… rampant in such households. But survive we do, and heal we do. I like the emphasis on how the healing happened, and purposeful focus on seeing beyond what was broken. Too many books and articles dwell only on that side…. and while offering suggestions about healing, do not paint that capacity as a real story, as a long and hard process — and based in reality.

As a person who lived through the worst kinds of very very early and ongoing abuse and neglect, with 20 plus years of healing work now, I was again – on finishing this book — nudged into the position of knowing that many of my “perpetrators” if not all, were victims in their own childhood as well. It is easier to let them go, and let go the binding energy that keeps us all down. Today I let more go. thank you amy and brent (feel free to share with brent). AR

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Why Some Politicians Are More Dangerous Than Others

Note from Amy:

If you’ve spent much time on this Diary of a Predator website, you’ll know I am a big fan of James Gilligan‘s work, especially his book Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemicwhere he presents case studies from his 25 years of working in prisons in an attempt to understand the causes and motivation of violent behavior.

We share that same goal, which is the entire reason I wrote the book Diary of a Predator: A Memoir, and why I have this website. If we don’t understand the complex causes of violence, how can we prevent it? We need to focus on prevention at its source–the perpetrator–instead of simply telling young women they need to walk in pairs after dark.

Now Gilligan has released a new edition of his latest book, Why Some Politicians are More Dangerous Than Othersand if you truly care about the prevention of violence in the U.S., it’s worth reading with an open mind.

From the Back Cover:

Politicians and the political process, even in ostensibly democratic countries, can be deadly. James Gilligan has discovered a devastating truth that has been “hiding in plain sight” for the past century – namely, that when America’s conservative party, the Republicans, have gained the presidency, the country has repeatedly suffered from epidemics of violent death. Rates of both suicide and homicide have sky-rocketed. The reasons are all too obvious: rates of every form of social and economic distress, inequality and loss – unemployment, recessions, poverty, bankruptcy, homelessness also ballooned to epidemic proportions. When that has happened, those in the population who were most vulnerable have “snapped”, with tragic consequences for everyone.

These epidemics of lethal violence have then remained at epidemic levels until the more liberal party, the Democrats, regained the White House and dramatically reduced the amount of deadly violence by diminishing the magnitude of the economic distress that had been causing it.

This pattern has been documented since 1900, when the US government first began compiling vital statistics on a yearly basis, and yet it has not been noticed by anyone until now except with regard to suicide in the UK and Australia, where a similar pattern has been described.

This book is a path-breaking account of a phenomenon that has implications for every country that presumes to call itself democratic, civilized and humane, and for all those citizens, voters and political thinkers who would like to help their country move in that direction.

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Monster, yes. Damaged child, yes.

Note from Amy: This very kind comment was sent to this Diary of a Predator website from a woman who read my book, Diary of a Predator: A Memoir, which is about my covering the case of serial rapist Brent Brents, and how that changed me.

It was a tough book to write, and I’m sure parts of it are very tough to read. So when someone takes the time to tell me they appreciate the book and that they understand what I was trying to accomplish, it fills me with both hope and gratitude that somehow, we’ll all make a difference.

Thank you, Tracy.

Here’s what she wrote:

Amy, I just finished your book. You are a brilliant writer and a very brave woman. Your story hit on the complex issue of abused becoming perpetrator. How can we not feel pity for Brents? Monster, yes. Damaged child, yes. His life would have been very different had he not endured horrific abuse as a child.

In 1983, I did an internship for the Wyoming Board of Charities and Reform. I researched the history of the Wyoming Children’s Home and the need to transition it into a Residential Treatment Facility for Emotionally Disturbed Children. I wrote a report to present to the WY Legislature in which I strongly recommended the transition. I researched the physical and sexual abuse that Brents, and other children, experienced while in the Home, and reading this portion of your book broke my heart. The cover photo on your book jacket looks very much like a boy I worked with from the Laramie Crisis Center in 1982. I remember this boy above all others because I took him to my home and introduced him to my husband and 2-year-old son. He had dinner with us, played games, and did not want to go back to the Center. I was severely reprimanded for doing this!

Thank you for writing your story, Amy.

Tracy Hauff

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a sociopath is not something that can be treated nor cured

Note from Amy:

A reader from Alberta named Holly wrote to this Diary of a Predator website earlier this month and said this in part about Brent Brents:

“Even if he is diagnosed a sociopath then why wasn’t he helped. Why is the word sociopath considered a moral weakness – yet people who are depressed or bi-polar are treated like porcelain?”

Which prompted this response, sent anonymously on 7/25:

I believe if Holly was to do a little further research on mental disorders, she would come to conclude that being a sociopath is not something that can be treated nor cured.

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Amsterdam Reader: we must find a way toward a broader solution

Note from Amy: The following response is from the woman who started the loop of this conversation–the one living in Amsterdam. And I am heartened by the intelligent, thoughtful and respectful discussions that occur on this Diary of a Predator website, so thank you to those who care enough to speak up:

We are all together on this planet, and some of us have been more fortunate than others.  I have had several family members violently attacked, so this is not written from a place unscathed; however, Christianity does teach forgiveness and not just when it is easy or convenient.
My perspective is not intended to allow the perpetrators a “pass”, but to acquire some level of understanding and knowledge which could help to prevent these abnormalities from developing and proliferating.  If we are truly serious about finding solutions,  throwing offenders into jail is just one part of the answer.  Currently, a violent sexual offender is going to be released into American society after his stint in prison:  has anything been done to rehabilitate this person?  How will we cope with this “time bomb” if no intervention or therapy has been offered?  Soon prisons will not be able to contain all of them.
In previous centuries mental illness was considered an evil, but education and research have shown that this “illness” can be treated with therapy and drugs.  Human society is better for this improvement.   The onset of AIDS had people living in fear and treating victims as pariahs, but research has developed new treatments and we are progressing toward eliminating this scourge.  Could we not apply this type of thinking to this problem?  Shouldn’t we as humans try to advance our understanding and knowledge?
I know Brent’s crimes are particularly difficult to come to terms with, and I do believe he belongs in prison, however, we must find a way toward a broader solution.
I am not Dutch, I was raised in Canada, but have spent most of my adult life in the United States where these crimes seem to be on the rise.  Currently, I am living and working in the Netherlands from where I am writing this correspondence.
Sincerely, Theresa L.

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Reader Reaction to Amsterdam Comment: Easy to say if you yourself are not a victim

Note from Amy: I received the following as a comment to this Diary of a Predator website, which is about the case of serial rapist Brent Brents. The comment was apparently a reaction to the reader who said she was interested in understanding perpetrators of violent crimes . Most of the comment was written in Dutch, so I put the English translation (per Go0gle Translate) beneath it:

For the Dutch lady: easy to say if you yourself are not a victim of this disgusting guy!

Voor de Nederlandse dame: makkelijk praten als je zelf niet een slachtoffer bent van deze walgelijke kerel!! Men heeft altijd een keuze tussen goed en kwaad, ongeacht of je zelf een slachtoffer was, immers als men dat niet had of heeft zit de halve wereld in de bak! Dus complete onzin.
Voor deze lui als Brent Brents wegwezen kost de maatschappij alleen maar geld.

(Translation: One always has a choice between good and evil, whether you were a victim yourself, after all, if one has not had or is half the world into the bin! So complete nonsense.
For these guys as Brent Brents now costs society only money.)

Dirma

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Reader: “Sociopath” should not be used as a moral weakness

A reader from Edmonton, Alberta sent the following comment to this Diary of a Predator website:

Firstly, Amy I would like to commend you on your work. I saw the story on Investigative Discovery. I hope that you can pass onto Brent Brents that I do not believe he is a monster.

I do think believe mental health issues need to be addressed more than anything. The word “Sociopath” should not be used as a moral weakness. It should be seen as an opportunity to help a person. It IS a sickness – just like cancer.

I suffer with Borderline personality disorder. One of the most difficult disorders to diagnose.

Just to add I am not a doctor by any means but I can bet Brent Brents’ being diagnosed as a sociopath may actually be an inaccurate diagnosis. Even if he is diagnosed a sociopath then why wasn’t he helped. Why is the word sociopath considered a moral weakness – yet people who are depressed or bi-polar are treated like porcelain?

Just my thoughts. -Holly

Time: July 2, 2013 at 1:04 pm

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