Category Archives: Prison

Theres really nothing new. It’s prison. Same shit different state different people same old stoopidity, and ignorance. I think that for some reason there is a blue print or secret government project that develops prisoners like Matel manufactures Ken Barbie and GI Joe. Assembly line criminals and Prison Guards. Way too many dudes look and act alike. In different states.

Brent Brents, 1-23-11

I hope you’re sleeping better than me right now. My brain is all fucked up. I think i had one of those things again. when i came out of it i knew where i was almost immediately but i couldn’t make sense of 1 + 1, Felt like i had forgotten something critical. Just couldn’t get straight. Still kinda wierded out. I know i was asleep when i had it. But i guess it feels worse than the ones i have while awake. Alot of confusion and my tongue lips and jaw are still numb. Plus my eye finaly straightened out. It was trying to get to know my other eyeball. Hey haven’t seen you here before, what’s your name? Ya know i wish i didn’t have these things. They really are scary. Absolutely no control of my brain. That sucks.

Brent Brents, 1-4-11 1 15/A.M.

I was singing your my best friend in the shower (by Queen). One of the Nazis popped off about someone singing a fag song. And i thought ya know for a guy who worships a dictator who tried to wipe out his own people and led an army of mindless drones and did so much needless killing and destruction i can deal with a sawed off 5′ foot motor mouth meth baby. Freddy may have been gay. But hey guess what your eatin prison food dude. 🙂 Get real Who’s the dumbass. The Rockstar or the inmate.

Brent Brents, 12-30-10 10:00 p.m.

A young black man has been challenging all the younger and weaker inmates in the pod acting like a big man. When he’s really not much. But he’s irritating nonetheless. It’s pretty easy to talk a big game behind a locked door. For some of us who have the skill and have on many occasions used it and are confident in it There is no need to be up at the door screaming threats. It’s a simple matter of when  you see that person you try to kill them end of story. No talk no negotiations. Just business. If you get hurt or die thats just how it goes. Of course if your not at the door acting childish or foolish then the chances of finding yourself in a conflict are far less. And just being an adult and Not getting involved in prison politics in the first place is the best and brightest move any one can make. It’s a stoopid thing to do. There really is only one trustworthy candidate when it comes to self preservation in here. “Yourself!” Allies become enemies in the blink of an eye. Enemies are often better friends. Because you know where they stand. So as i sit here I watch, i listen, i learn and i evolve. Self preservation. And manage to ignore the junior predator upstairs who is a lesser food chain kind of person.

Brent Brents, 12-23-10  9 50/p.m.

So you’ll notice notice not so tiny writing. But more envelopes will be coming your way. I’m now on a high. The damn bi polar mood swing sucks. It would have been nice to hit a middle ground. Now I’m sitting here high as a kite (Not drug). Just the bi polar Moon. I’m all full of energy, fidgity paranoid, hypersensitive. Who needs meth. Man my brain is fucked up. To be honest i am glad i am Not the opposite type of biopolar where i am high all the time. The good thing about depression is i sleep 75 % of the time at least. So i miss alot of the emotional stuff. But it’s the high end and just shy of the low end suck.The middle is ok. A little bit of both in short periods is manageable.

Brent Brents,  12-21-10 6:30 p.m.

So i had a good talk with the Mental health guy today…He helped me better understand how my BP2 Bi Polar Disorder 2 Can be and often is a Companion to paranoid Schizophrenia. I am as he thinks a person who is symptomatic under extreme duress. My extreme paranoia is Quite honestly legitamate right now. But what worries him with me is the compulsion issues. The cleanliness compulsion and the eye lash nose hair compulsions are bad signs if i am Not recognizing that i do them until i have pulled every hair. These are Big time warning signals in my Bi Polar state that I am non responsive to pain and blanked out so to speak. A Time when i am most likely to commit suicide or attack someone. The rest is Dependent upon where i am at in my bi polar State of Mind. We discussed Antidepressants. We agree that its probably best to wait as long as possible to get on them because there is a high likelihood i would become worse in my depressive state and more prone to suicide in either state.

Brent Brents, 12-15-10 2 50 A.M.

I guess my way of thinking doesn’t sit well with some. The mental health dude kept looking at me Strangely and asking if i was alright. Well what do you think Man. My last five years have been spent in a 16 by 9 Foot cell. Surrounded by angry, mentaly ill, violent men. Listening to hate, violence,  and Talk of drugs and sex. I have woke up day after day wondering if this is the day i die. I’ve been hurt. I have been depressed. No I’m Not OK.

12-14-10 5:30 p.m.

There is a guy in cell #2 who is full blown para/schizo. It’s a real frightful reminder to me. I am truly thankful that to this point i have a much better handle on my own demise. I think i would-no i know if i ever get to the point he is that a gram of heroin up my arm will be the end all fix. He’s a serious fright to me. The ravings in my brain spill from his mouth. His paranoia he verbalizes when he feels it. I can’t. I envy him to a degree. No restraint. His ramblings about things only he understands. Yet i feel so sick inside because there is no one to love him or anyone who cares. Just an ill man with a lunatic in his brain. A Terrible Terrible way to live, Let alone in prison. I pray i never progress to that state of the disease. And if i do i hope you’ll understand why i would do what i needed to for my own peace of mind and yours.

12-12-10 9:20 p.m.

If for some reason i am badly hurt or killed, i know you’ll do right by me. No Machines Amy. If i need one to breathe, or one to feed me to keep me alive, Cut if off. Let me go. Let me finaly escape the torment i live with each day. That part of my brain that is sick and hurtful.

Brent Brents, 11-4-10

Don’t think i don’t know how emotionaly gut wrenching My Crimes and what you read on the site are. I know it is all heavy on your heart. I have Never taken that for granted Amy. I know how  truly gentle your heart is. Your tuff when you need to be. But you can’t hide your compasion or empathy. You stand your ground with confidence and strength but you balance it all with great humility. I firmly believe you are the one meant to do this. You can be seriously pissed off, Yet have the lions heart to protect the broken people and animals. You will always have a cynical reporter inside. We all have a part that doubts the world around us. But you stand taller and look past your cynicism. Helping the broken is your way of healing your own wounds.

Brent Brents, 11-4-10