So i had a good talk with the Mental health guy today…He helped me better understand how my BP2 Bi Polar Disorder 2 Can be and often is a Companion to paranoid Schizophrenia. I am as he thinks a person who is symptomatic under extreme duress. My extreme paranoia is Quite honestly legitamate right now. But what worries him with me is the compulsion issues. The cleanliness compulsion and the eye lash nose hair compulsions are bad signs if i am Not recognizing that i do them until i have pulled every hair. These are Big time warning signals in my Bi Polar state that I am non responsive to pain and blanked out so to speak. A Time when i am most likely to commit suicide or attack someone. The rest is Dependent upon where i am at in my bi polar State of Mind. We discussed Antidepressants. We agree that its probably best to wait as long as possible to get on them because there is a high likelihood i would become worse in my depressive state and more prone to suicide in either state.
Brent Brents, 12-15-10 2 50 A.M.