Tag Archives: rape

Hurt people hurt people

The following comment was sent to this Diary of a Predator website two weeks ago by a mother who is also an author, and refers to a courageous young man who is stepping forward to talk about his sexual abuse–crashing through those barriers of shame and blame:

Hi Amy, I just finished your book and it was an education into what I’ve always believed to be true… Hurt people hurt people. My book JUST ONE BOY: the unintentional legacy of early childhood neglect and abuse was published last year. My stepson has sexually assaulted and raped 36 children before my son, his half brother, told me about his abuse. We speak at many Colorado conferences yearly. I almost lost my son to suicide but at 17, he decided to speak out about his abuse. Google him for more info on his work Matthew Anckner.

1 Comment

Filed under reader comments

Thank you sir can i get a higher Dose

If i get an erection these days i feel shame. I hear the ridicule and voices of those who hated me for what i had done to them. It’s weird I honestly can’t get an erection because of my meds. You might think i am humiliated or feel imasculated because of this. Truth be told I couldn’t be happier about my inability to get or sustain an erection.

Why well it seems pretty straight forward to me. I have fantacies, i get erect, I hunt, my rage builds, I Rape and assault. That was me 10 years ago. Now i have fantacies or thoughts, of Raping, or being violent, my penis feels some like a warm twitch and thats it. No super desire to masterbate to the fantacy or thought. I simply can’t feel physicaly. And it helps me to control my thinking and physical desire to release that hate and rage of the violent fantacies and thoughts and it is the same for the normal fantacies and normal thoughts of sexual relationships. So I am Impotent thanks to psych meds. Whoopi. Thank you sir can i get a higher Dose. I can’t tell you how great it feels to be unable to fallow thru with the fantacy or thought. Who knew Impotence could be such a welcome thing.

-Brent Brents 4-3-15

4 Comments

Filed under Brents' writings

Fighting flashes of hatred and rage

Note from Amy: Apparently I set this letter from Brent Brents aside in order to post several blogs from it and then got too busy. I uncovered it today on my desk, hence the reason why it’s dated from April. So here’s the first of several excerpts to come from that letter:

So i want to share something with you that has been going on in my mind Lately. My outlook on life has so freakishly changed these last few years. For example this empathy that continues to grow inside for others and the plight of humans everywhere. Don’t get me wrong I still harbor some bitterness, and hatred toward my family (parents). And I don’t trust any man…I’m getting so sick of death and violence. Rape, Domestic Violence. all of it on TV. Read about it in newspapers. And worst of all thru war stories told by cold and brutal men who are only steps from my own cell door. And within this cell, in this head is a brain that is constantly telling itself No more violence. Fighting flashes of hatred and rage. Trying to unlearn old habits. Pushing pride and ego aside, to make room for humility.

–Brent Brents 4-30-15

Leave a comment

Filed under Brents' writings

Jameis apologize. Your victim deserves that

Note from Amy: While I was the investigative producer on the documentary “The Hunting Ground,” which features the Jameis Winston case, I had nothing to do with Brent Brents making the below statement, which he sent on March 31–before Erica Kinsman’s attorneys filed suit against Jameis Winston on her behalf. What is posted below is entirely the opinion of Brent Brents. As with all his writing, I did not censor or copy edit it:

Some of you will see Jameis Winston get drafted into the NFL soon. Most likely #1 overall for 100 million dollars Plus. With 50 to 55 million Garunteed.

This article (he enclosed a clipping of this column by Christine Brennan, USA Today) is a step in the right direction. But far short of the punishment he truly deserves. I can say with a whole heart, that you Jameis Winston are a Rapist. You got lucky that campus police and city police Royaly screwed the pooch on the investigation and victims allegations.

Your vulgarity at the campus directed towards the survivor of your criminal behavior, your track record of dumassed behaviors, don’t lend any credit to your reputation of Mr. Innocent.

I’ve watched your Interviews, and read plenty to judge you. God says we shouldn’t judge others. But hey let’s be real. And you and most any right thinking human beings know in your hearts the truth. Guilty!!! I have a closer Knowledge so i know more than most. But There are things that make 1 plus 1= 2.

99.99 % of sexual assault victims tell the truth in my opinion. I could be wrong. But i don’t buy that you are that .1 % of that not guilty.

So Winston as you embark on the next phase of your young life. Remember that many young people are going to Look up to you and follow your lead. Your going to be a role model for young people everywhere. Your an exceptional football player. So become an exceptional man. It may seem truly hypocritical, but i feel you should become the biggest advocate for anti Rape and domestic violence causes.

When you lose the lawsuit that is surely coming, pay it. Don’t be a punk ass Kid. And Jameis apologize. Your victim deserves that if nothing else. How you do that will be up to you. You’ll have a team of lawyers, an agent even a teams front office all saying don’t do it. Kid if you have a good heart do the right.

Who am i you ask, to judge you and write this letter? I am a serial rapist who’s 33 years in lockup have kept him around Rapists of all kinds. So I know you. Get your shit together Kid.

B. Brents 3-31-15

Leave a comment

Filed under Brents' writings

A Lesson from Reporting on Rape

In case you missed it: Rolling Stone magazine published a story about campus sexual assault that featured a victim named Jackie whose account turned out to largely untrue, prompting the Columbia Journalism Review to issue their report that analyzed how and why seasoned journalists could be led astray.

Reporting on rape and sexual assault is extremely tough. There are few other crimes where the victim is left so deeply traumatized, and a journalist trying to interview a rape victim has to gingerly navigate the minefield of that raw, emotional injury while also getting the details of what they need for their story. In an effort to not cause them more harm, you may not press hard enough for the facts. Or you may inadvertently veer in the opposite direction;  not read them correctly and press too hard. It’s an enormous challenge to remain dispassionate in the face of someone’s palpable pain, and I’ve come to believe that empathy accomplishes much more because it motivates you to try to illuminate the injustice and tragedy of this crime. Finally, a  reporter’s own personal experiences can sometimes cloud their judgment if they become triggered themselves.

Any journalist who frequently tackles trauma reporting and tries to do so in a responsible way will at some time or another fail in their endeavor. It’s called being human. The failure might not be of the magnitude or in the public’s eye like the one in Rolling Stone–it may be known only to you and the subject–and might be of a different sort, but a failure nonetheless. The thing is to learn from it.

I had one such lesson burned into my memory (and rightly so) by a female military veteran whose case I was covering for the series Betrayal in the Ranks, an investigation into military sexual assault and domestic violence I co-authored with Miles Moffeit at the Denver Post.

Miles and I were in the midst of writing, and I needed a document from the victim in question. On deadline and in full efficiency mode, I left a brisk message on the answering machine of her home phone with the details of my request. The response I got hours later was blistering, and I will do my best to paraphrase it here:

“So I just got home, and it was a good day and I was in a great mood, and then I hit the button on my answering machine and out of the blue there’s your goddamn message asking for that fucking piece of paper for the story. And now standing here in my hallway you’ve yanked me back to that memory, and there’s nothing I can do to get rid of it now.”

I’ve never left a specific message for a victim since. If I need information, I will call or email and simply ask in a general way for them to call me when they can. If it’s urgent, I will indicate that it is, but I won’t dive into details of what I need on the message. I save that for an actual conversation, where I then do what I used to describe to my students as “wading in and out”: You wade into the murky water of their pain, slowly, holding their hand as you go. You then extract the detail you need, and together you carefully wade back out.

I was reminded of this the other day when I was tagged on a thoughtful post by Bruce Shapiro, the executive director of the Dart Center for Journalism & Trauma, about the challeges of reporting on rape. I’ve copied his full message below:

What is most important about the Rolling Stone controversy: It’s an outlier. Investigative reporting on institutional complicity in the coverup of sexual assault is one of the major innovations in American journalism in the last 15 years.

Think about reporting on clerical sex abuse by Walter Robinson, Sacha Pfiefer, Kevin Cullen and others on the Boston Globe’s Spotlight team; the pioneering investigations of sexual assault on college campuses by Kristen Lombardi and colleagues at the Center for Public Integrity; the Denver Post’s revelations of rape in the U.S. military by Miles Moffeit, Amy Herdy and others; Rachel Dissell’s recent work in the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s recent exposes on untested rape kits.

Each of these far-reaching investigations involved very sensitive reporting on victims; careful corroboration and confirmation of highly emotional stories; and meticulous documentation of various institutions’ role in coverup. In all of these investigations, reporters had to negotiate very carefully with deeply traumatized rape survivors, and develop a thorough method and ethic for reporting on their claims.

These reporters all understood both the unique challenges in interviewing survivors of private, deeply stigmatized rapes; and the very high stakes, for all involved, in getting the story right.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Right Now: Tell Congress to Do the Right Thing by Military Sexual Assault Survivors and Pass the Military Justice Improvement Act

Do you want to help survivors of military sexual assault? Then take a moment to read this, and then click on the link to contact your local representative in Congress and tell them to vote for the Military Justice Improvement Act.

Few people want to get involved regarding the issue of rape. That’s one of the reasons why it’s such an ongoing crisis in our country–it’s got crippling stigma attached to it, and shame, and victim-blaming. Nowhere is that more pronounced than in our military.

invisible warI’m on the email list for director Kirby Dick and producer Amy Ziering, the creators of the outstanding documentary, “The Invisible War,” a film about the crisis of sexual assaults within the U.S. military. I’m interviewed in the film because of my work covering the issue, primarily the series I coauthored at the Denver Post called “Betrayal in the Ranks.”

Right now, the Invisible War team is sending out this call for action. Please read it, and please respond. If you visit this website, it means on some level you care about this issue. So please take the time to do something about it.

———————————————————————

From Kirby and Amy:

It’s been a busy few weeks here in our Los Angeles office, in Washington, and across the country when it comes to sexual assault. As we watch the conversation unfold and expand in the news, we know there is so much more to do to make sure survivors everywhere get the justice they deserve.

Let’s start with Washington, DC. This week the Pentagon released their annual survey on sexual assault. The report was damning.

It found:

  • Less than 3 of 10 service members have enough trust in the system to report a crime.
  • Two-thirds of those who did report an assault say they faced some form of retaliation, and
  • The number of service members willing to put their name on a report decreased when compared to last year.

This is unacceptable and exactly why Congress must pass the Military Justice Improvement Act (MJIA) and fix this broken system.

Our men and women in uniform deserve better. They deserve justice. And this week Congress has a chance to see that they get it. Before the end of the week the Senate will vote on the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA). This gives them another opportunity to do the right thing and pass the MJIA. Take a minute now and send Congress a message that it’s past time to deliver justice for military sexual assault survivors.

CLICK HERE and tell Congress to pass the Military Justice Improvement Act today.

_PassMJIA.png

But it’s not just the military, or Congress, that has work to do.

When we toured the country to screen THE INVISIBLE WAR we visited dozens of college campuses and met with thousands of students and began hearing stories from survivors of campus sexual assault. Like the stories that inspired us to make THE INVISIBLE WAR, their stories were powerful, poignant and we realized, all too common. We knew we had to take action.

So we began work on another film, this time to shine a light on the epidemic of campus assault. We’re honored so many courageous survivors and advocates have trusted us to bring their stories into the light, and we are thrilled to share that our new film, THE HUNTING GROUND, is premiering next month at the Sundance Film Festival.

The #NotInvisible community has been an incredible source of support for survivors of sexual assault — in the military and beyond. We hope that THE HUNTING GROUND will create a space for a new community to come together. And we hope you’ll be a part of that conversation too.

Together, we can help ensure that no survivor –- whether a service member or a student, has to stand alone. Together, we are #NotInvisible.

Thank you for all you do,
Amy and Kirby

Amy and Kirby, THE INVISIBLE WAR
http://www.notinvisible.org/

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Reader reaction from a rape prevention educator

My name is Marc Rich and I am a professor at California State University, Long Beach. I am also a rape prevention educator.  While visiting the Boulder Book Store I picked up a copy of Diary of a Predator: A Memoir. I just wanted to sincerely thank you for writing this poignant, powerful book (hard to read, hard to put down) and for your ongoing work to fight predatory behavior with civilians and in the military.  Your book remains one of the most challenging pieces I’ve ever read–and one of the most important.  I actually use a quote from Diary during our rape prevention program to help students understand the distinction between power arousal (predatory) and sexual arousal:

“Sex has little to do with it.  It’s the control, the domination, the fear, the hurt, the power”  (Brent Brents, cited in Diary of a Predator.  Brents was sentenced to over 1,000 years for rape and torture).

So, despite his criminal record, Brent’s honesty and your willingness to speak with him is helping us prevent sexual assault.

Marc D. Rich, Ph.D.

Professor; Executive Director, interACT

www.facebook.com/interACTTroupe

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Reader: I once was a victim of rape. I’m no longer a victim

Note from Amy: The following message is testament that the book Diary of a Predator: A Memoir has a profound effect on survivors:

Hi Amy,

I am moved by your work. No, not by your work as a writer – but the amount of inner work you’ve done to expand your compassion to include the suffering human beings within all the victims of rape, perpetrator included.

I once was a victim of rape. I’m no longer a victim because I was able to find compassion for my perpetrator. I believe it literally dissolved the toxic cells within my body to allow a new space, or perhaps, a renewed space to exist.

It’s interesting to me that so much is put upon the entity “forgiveness”. It always felt somehow abstract, like a word created by man, but allusive to behold in my body. Compassion though has true relevance, true power.

I could go on and on. I’ll just stop here by saying, thank you for your work that you put into this world: this truly panoramic embracing of humanity. I feel bigger and brighter and wider by the experience. You are giving all of us this opportunity.

Diedrich

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

I love Robin Williams

Robin Williams…I guess everyone has a hero he or she secretly loves. Sure there are the Clint Eastwoods or John Waynes. Humphry Bogarts or Lauren Bacalls, Betty Whites.

But for me Robin was it. Secretly I had always wished he would have been my father. Imagine that. A manic depressive criminal wants a manic depressive comedian for a father. So yes when I saw the Breaking news flash Robin Williams dead I lost it. So sad. Heart Broken. I know people may not believe that. Screw em. At least i can be honest. I love Robin Williams. And i am so sad.

I grew up with Robin Williams. Mork and Mindy meant an hour of peace in my home. No Rape, No Beatings, just good laughs. Fear and Nervousness forgotten. I have always been greatful for those cease fire laughs.

-Brent Brents 8-17-14

Leave a comment

Filed under Brents' writings

this book gave them closure

Note from Amy: The following comments were sent to this Diary of a Predator website and were apparently from a relative of Brent Brents who watched his story on Investigation Discovery:

Brent is my cousin. I have never met him. His father is my Mother’s brother. My sister was 7 when our Mother’s brother RAPED her in Arizona. What he did to my sister was BRUTAL and she never forgot. I met Brents father in Oklahoma at a reunion I also met Brents sister. (He) begged my Mothers forgiveness with his Christian act… My Mother and sister have passed recently and this book gave them closure and exposed my Uncle for the EVIL he was.

It is true the VIOLENT ABUSE that my cousin was subjected to. My heart goes out to ALL THE VICTIMS..INCLUDING MY COUSIN BRENT BRENTS AND TO MY SISTER WHO PASSED NOV 1ST 2013.

-Susie

Leave a comment

Filed under The story