These days it seems stoopid that i harboured so much for over 30 years. Plus, I let that hate eat at me until i was truly an evil person. No compasion, No Empathy. Just a hatefull Machine. Willing to use and hurt anyone.
-Brent Brents 7-23-14
Tag Archives: empathy
No Empathy
Filed under Brents' writings
if i block out their cries
Note from Amy–See the previous post. Brent Brents was captured in February 2005 after one final crime spree during Valentine’s Day weekend when he committed several rapes. He is referring to that here as well.
So February went quick for me this year. I still struggle w/ the memories, shame and guilt. I still won’t give up the memories, I’m pretty sure if i block out their cries, and looks of pain i would be avoiding whats most important. Empathy.
I do confess I don’t know alot about it, but i am growing into a man who feels other peoples pain.
-Brent Brents 2-24-14
Filed under Brents' writings
i like who i am now
So i am glad you liked my writing on grief. The first few times I tried to write it, it just didn’t feel natural. It was either whining or blaming. It is an amazing thing to see where i once was Mentaly and how i percieved Things like grief and empathy. I had so much hate. And you know i like who i am now.
-Brent Brents 10-21-12
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the real threats of Grief, heartbreak, empathy
OK I wrote this thing on grief. Hopefully it makes Sense. I didn’t write it until i felt it was Natural and Not forced. I know i don’t think or see feelings like most people. So i can’t force things.
Grief.
Like empathy its an emotion i struggle with. I have grief for lost grandparents and friends, and even pets.
I have a guilt about Grieving for my lost childhood, due to the abuse i went thru. I became a sexual being much to soon, so i lost the discover that comes with a young man’s virginity. I also did cause others to go thru the same grief.
My years in school were Not pleasant. I really Miss Not having a Normal school life. I wanted to be in 4H and play baseball, and football, go to prom, Graduate, and eventually go to College. But i was literaly to stoopid to go to college.
Oh I’m Not feeling sorry about school. I simply grieve the growth i missed. I educated myself acedmecly during my years in prison. OK so i need spell check to be installed in my brain on a permanent basis. But i feel good that i have a much wider education than many kids get today. And I am sad for them.
With my educational growth as a young adult i also grew emotionaly. The bad part is i embraced distructive emotions. These emotions Blocked me from being rational. I couldn’t be empathetic, or grieve normaly. Anger and rage, selfishness and refusal to take off my blinders, Black and White thinking, Abusive behavior etc. These I used to protect myself from the real threats of Grief, heartbreak, empathy. The Simple ability to feel anything other than self loathing and hatred for others.
Once i started letting myself experience grief without an anchor or rage or hatred, I was litteraly able to take a deep breath and release it, and know I’m OK.
So when i hear a story or see a TV show about something i missed in life, I know its ok to Grieve for it and not Let rage and hatred control my reactions.
So I may be wierd because i like grief. But liking it rather than Not being able to breathe, because i can’t get past rage and hatred. Yea i can live with being ok with grief and the natural feelings it causes.
Brent Brents 10-14-12
Filed under Brents' writings
empathy
I tell you Amy empathy aint an easy emotion to deal with…i am really learning to open up to it. It’s painful and Not a good feeling to have. I mean yes it’s good to have empathy. But hard to think about. It’s one of those things i don’t have control over. And well Control freak Me is struggling.
Brent Brents 8-12-12
Filed under Brents' writings
Diary of a Predator 