Category Archives: The story

by | August 8, 2012 · 8:30 pm

if he was raised with a better family?

This message arrived today to this website, Diary of a Predator, after the Investigation Discovery episode regarding serial rapist Brent Brents and my coverage of his case apparently aired in South America:

Greetings Ms. Herdy,

My name is Eddie, I am from Costa Rica. I want to say first that you are my idol, how you don´t give up and keep looking the truth. Is very important what you did because you saw a human being with problems not a monster.

I want to ask you one question do you believe that Brent´s life could be different if he was raised with a better family?

He was not born with problems and dark wishes–a result of his breeding?

Thank you so much for your time, my best wishes in your life.

Dear Eddie,

Thank you for writing, and for your kind words.

I will tell you what Brent Brents has often told me: Had he been removed from the home and not horrifically abused for years,  he believes he would have turned out very differently.  And that’s not to avoid his responsibility. He absolutely made the choices to inflict the great harm that he did. That being said, his behavior mirrored what was done to him.

Also, there are multiple accounts that indicate his father was a psychopath, and research has shown that a psychopath’s brain is different from brains that are considered “normal,” so it is possible he inherited a genetic predisposition toward a lack of empathy and impulse control. Plus, he suffered brain damage at the hands of his father.

Of course, we will never know–but I do think that had Brent Brents been raised in a loving environment, and not systematically abused, he would have had a much greater chance to become a healthy, productive person. I like to think there’s hope for every child, and he was a child once.

Thanks for writing.
Amy

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by | July 22, 2012 · 4:46 pm

A Dream Realized: Barnes & Noble Book Stores Now Carrying Diary of Predator: A Memoir

Diary of a Predator: A Memoir at Barnes & Noble

Diary of a Predator: A Memoir is now available at Barnes & Noble book stores, such as this location in Boulder, Colo. | Photo by Amy Herdy

When I first started working on the true-crime book about serial rapist Brent Brents that became Diary of a Predator: A Memoir my husband told me he would no longer go to bookstores with me.

The reason? I would walk past some of the trite or atrocious titles on the shelves and start to feel depressed. It wasn’t that I thought Diary of a Predator was so much better; I was just convinced it had a story–and a message–that was worthwhile, and I fretted the book would never get a chance.

I hoped, but did not expect, that I would see it on the shelf of a major bookstore. Publishing statistics show there are more than 100,000 new books published every year, yet most bookstore chains (like Barnes & Noble) stock only a fraction of them–about 10,000 titles.

So I was very happily shocked when I got a call from a buyer for Barnes & Noble a few weeks ago. She said they planned to put Diary of a Predator: A Memoir in some of their top true-crime-selling stores around the country.

One such store is in Boulder, at 30th and Pear Street. I visited it the other day, and sure enough, there was Diary of a Predator: A Memoir, right on the shelf in the “True Crime” section.  It’s hard to describe the feeling I got when looking at my book there on the shelf. Diary of a Predator: A Memoir is the culmination of a career covering crime and out of that, the five years I devoted to the stubborn notion that this book would inspire and educate people.

And that’s the most gratifying part of all:  Hearing from folks that reading this book left them wanting to be a better person, or spread some good in the world.

So thank you, Barnes & Noble, for helping to get Diary of a Predator: A Memoir out there.

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by | July 17, 2012 · 7:35 pm

Dear diary

Dear diary of a predator,

I love your blog and what you have done with your work in your writing. I had a mother that was schizophrenic and had committed suicide.

My name is Lydia and I was a foster child and now an aspiring filmmaker. I am writing you because I think that you may like what I am writing about and I like to connect with others that I could learn from and share stories with. I was given six banker boxes of documented abuse. It was very cold and factual with no life or love in it. So I decided to start publishing original journal entries from childhood between my cousin and I.

I named it Izzie and Eden’s Diary.

We used to write our secrets and plan escapes in it. I hope you stop by and take a look. It is very important to me to share it and keep the story alive. Take care and I look forward to reading more of your post!

Sincerely, Lydia

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by | July 1, 2012 · 3:16 pm

something more than just a band-aid

The following message was sent to this website, Diary of a Predator, and it helps remind me why I do this work:

“I just watched Paula Zahns “On the Case” about Brent Brents. I just wanted you to know that as I watched, I immediately understood your frame of reference for the way you “looked at” Mr. Brents. I also understood why so many people don’t “get it.”

“Many folks can only see what is directly in front of them; few have the vision to see/understand that there is a bigger picture (and I’m talking in most things, not just this case). Trying to understand all the elements of an issue is the only way to truly identify a “solution” that will be something more than just a band-aid.

“But not everyone has that gift; that ability, so the occurrence of being misunderstand is frequent. Your road is not an easy one then. But I truly believe it is people like you; people who CAN step back from their “reactions” to see a bigger picture, that will ultimately be the facilitators of meaningful changes.

“You have both courage and compassion Amy. Stay strong.”
Kate

Time: Wednesday June 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

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by | June 25, 2012 · 10:21 pm

“The Invisible War”: Because It’s Time to Talk About the Sexual Predators in the Military

Please show your support for the opening of the gripping documentary “The Invisible War” in Denver this weekend.

Here is the eflier:
http://www.notinvisible.org/eflier_denver

And here’s the information for the theater, below. The film opens on Friday night, June 29, and I’m going to be there on Saturday evening, June 30, for a Q & A directly following the showing of the 7 p.m. feature (exact time still to be announced by the theater). I’ll be discussing the issue and my role in the film, and why this is a cause near and dear to my heart.

“The Invisible War”
Harkins Northfield 18
8300 East Northfield Blvd
Denver, CO 80238

Even if you can’t attend, you can show your support by forwarding this link to everyone you know. The film is opening in cities around the country–maybe there’s a theater showing it near you. If so, you should watch it, because I guarantee it will impact you forever.

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by | June 22, 2012 · 9:55 pm

Why Did Jerry Sandusky Do It?

There are many studies that link child sexual abuse to that person becoming a perpetrator in later life, and Diary of a Predator: A Memoir is a perfect case study of that–Brent Brents committed crimes that were a direct reflection of the abuse he received as a child.

 If you look at Jerry Sandusky’s childhood circumstances, you can see that he could very well have been a victim of child sexual abuse. When Jerry Sandusky was six–a vulnerable age–his family moved into an upstairs apartment of the Brownson House, a recreation center for troubled boys. By all accounts, thousands of troubled youth passed through that center, which included facilities for basketball, football and baseball-and which would have included locker rooms with showers (details from Jerry Sandusky’s case include him sexually abusing boys in a locker room shower).
 The following is from a study by the British Journal of Psychiatry in 2001:
The risk of being a perpetrator is enhanced by prior victim experiences, doubled for incest, more so for peodophilia, and even higher for those exposed to both peodophilia and incest. This suggests that, in this selected sample, the experience of being a victim of peodophilia may have a more powerful causative influence in giving rise to the subject becoming a perpetrator than does incest, and the joint experience of being exposed to both peodophilia and incest has the most powerful effect.
  This view is supported by the frequent clinical finding that the abuser’s target age-group is usually limited to the age when he was himself abused. The abusive act is a traumatic one — however cooperative the victim might appear to be — and the change from being the passive victim to the active perpetrator, making use of the mechanism of identification with the aggressor, is the way in which some victims repeatedly attempt to master the trauma. The use of psychological mechanisms, particularly splitting and denial, which enable the abuser to believe he is being benevolent when he is being abusive, are further characteristics which the victim acquires through his identification with the perpetrator.
-It sounds like that’s exactly what Jerry Sandusky did.  And it’s definitely what Brent Brents did–he became a perpetrator in order to try to gain control over his feelings of helplessness, rage and victimization.

It does not excuse the horrible actions of either man, neither Brent Brents nor Jerry Sandusky. But it does help explain them.

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by | June 16, 2012 · 9:20 pm

“The Invisible War,” a Scathing Expose About Sexual Assault in the Military, Needs Your Help

Nobody likes to talk about rape.

That’s one of the reasons why it’s such an ongoing crisis in our country–it’s got that crippling stigma attached to it, and shame, and victim-blaming. Nowhere is that more pronounced than in our military.

I’m on the email list for director Kirby Dick and producer Amy Ziering, the creators of the outstanding documentary, “The Invisible War,” a film about the crisis of sexual assaults within the U.S. military. I’m interviewed in the film because of my work covering the issue, primarily the series I coauthored at the Denver Post called “Betrayal in the Ranks.”

Right now, the Invisible War team need your help.

The good news is, the New York Times has taken notice of this incredibly important issue by profiling the film in “Heroes, Villains and The Invisible,” written by Stephen Holden.

The article calls “The Invisible War” one of three festival films devoted to women’s rights,” and has said that “none of the films previewed matched the impact of “The Invisible War.”

The great news here is that the story is currently #16 on the NYT’s Most Popular List (Most Emailed and The Most Viewed, to be exact).

Let’s move that up. You can help show the media, and the public, and anyone else who is paying attention that these issues matter.

Go here and Share the article with a friend, Tweet and/or Post to Facebook: Heroes, Villains and the Invisible

Please HELP!  Go to this link ( http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/15/movies/human-rights-watch-film-festival-at-lincoln-center.html) and

  • EMAIL to a friend
  • Share on Facebook
  • Tweet – here’s a sample Tweet that you can also send without going to the article link:

    • Heroes, Villains and the Invisible http://nyti.ms/MKZz3b#NotInvisible@Invisible_War gets due notice TKU @nytimesin theatres 6.22

Thanks very much,

Amy

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by | June 5, 2012 · 9:56 pm

all people have aspects of goodness and evil within

I received this thoughtful letter the other day through this website, and it’s definitely worth sharing:

Dear Amy,
I heard you on Colorado Matters and felt great empathy to you; I hope to know you someday. My best friend, Shannon Moroney, married a man who, to all who knew him, was absolutely wonderful. Still, a month after their wedding, he violently kidnapped and raped two women, then turned himself in, pled guilty to Canada’s highest penalty –violent offender– and is serving a life sentence. Shannon (and her parents, many friends, and I) still maintain contact with Jason who shares many similarities with Brent.

Though his crimes were horrific, the person I know was kind, held my infant daughter, and treated me, and especially Shannon, with kindness. Last fall, Shannon published a book that I hope you get to read someday, THROUGH THE GLASS. Currently, it is only available in Canada through Doubleday, but it will be coming to the US in the fall.

I am so grateful to you for sharing the story of the criminal who is never, as we wish he/she were, purely evil. I believe, as I think you do, that all people have aspects of goodness and evil within. Jason was also sexually abused as a child. When Shannon has been confronted with the accusation “well, all victims of sexual assault don’t become sexual offenders,” her response is, “thank God.”

Why some people do turn to crime is a source of great sadness for those of us who have cared for and even loved victims of crime and the offenders themselves. Please feel my support and understand my gratefulness for telling Brent’s story.

I look forward to reading your book.

Best, Rachael

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by | June 3, 2012 · 7:20 pm

Gods Green earth is fair Game

I’m including an except below from serial rapist Brent Brents’ journal that’s in my book, Diary of a Predator: A Memoir, because of its chilling self description.

But first, something from James Gilligan: “The living dead.”

-That’s a term for violent men from the book, Violence: Reflections On A National Epidemic, by James Gilligan, M.D., and it resonates with me because it’s similar to how Brent Brents describes himself.

Gilligan, who directed the Center for the Study of Violence at Harvard Medical School, is the former medical director of the Bridgewater State Hospital for the criminally insane and was director of mental health for the Massachusetts prison system.

To call violent prison inmates “the living dead” is not a metaphor he invented, Gilligan says in his book; rather, it’s a summary of how the men describe themselves, that they cannot feel anything, that their souls are dead.

He goes on to write, “They have dead souls because their souls were murdered. How did it happen?”

The answer, Gilligan says, was “a degree of violence and cruelty…in childhood…so extreme and unusual that it gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘child abuse.'”

Which is exactly how Brent Brents was created–horrific and habitual child abuse. And it doesn’t excuse his actions, but it certainly helps explain them, and understanding violence takes us one step closer toward preventing it.

As for the self description written by Brent Brents, I begin the start of nearly every chapter of  Diary of a Predator: A Memoir with an excerpt from one of his letters or from his journal (which is also featured in large portions throughout the rest of the book). This is at the start of chapter One, A Hunter at Work:

I could easily be Bundy i think he had the same fucked up
brain the release was never Achievable. What realy hurts me
deep is that there are a few things and people I can sincerely
care for and love and would never hurt but the rest of Gods
Green earth is fair Game. I am truly a fucked up dangerous
person and were the opportunities to present themselves I
would act. It hurts me to admit this. I am sorry for hurting
all those other people, Truly but how can i be any kind of
Good or decent if i cant stop my mind from Working Like it
does. I look back to when i was a kid and i realy think i went
crazy. Death is the only solution to this.
—From Brent’s journal

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by | May 22, 2012 · 7:56 pm

A Mother Who Lost Her Daughter to Rape Searches for Answers

How awful to know that your daughter was raped, and that her attacker was someone she was supposed to trust.

Now imagine being told that after all she had endured, your daughter killed herself, and you’ll know what Suzie is going through.

Suzie contacted me after reading a blog I posted to this website about The Invisible War,  a gripping documentary about the crisis of sexual assaults within the U.S. military. I’m interviewed in the film because of my work covering the issue, primarily the series I coauthored at the Denver Post about sexual assault and domestic violence in the U.S. military called “Betrayal in the Ranks.”

But back to Suzie–here’s part of what she said:

“My daughter was sexually assaulted 3 times in her 3 and a half years in the Army. Twice on American soil, once during her year being deployed in Afghanistan. It culminated in her taking her own life after being told she was bi-polar or borderline personality disorder… She said they wanted to get rid of her and not the rapist. Please help me find truth for all of these men and women whom have had to endure what our own HOMELAND SECURITY could have prevented!!!! God Bless!! I AM NOT FINISHED WITH THIS!”

Her tragic story drives home this point: Whether a rapist is stalking women on the streets of Denver or within his own military unit, we’re enabling him as long as we allow our systems to put victims through hell for reporting their assaults.

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