Category Archives: Prison

OK so i saw the psych today. She took me off Zoloft. She was very concerned with my having so many side effets. But the blurry vision really bothered her. So in two weeks She will try a new med called Selexa its an updated version of the Zoloft type meds. It can have the same side effects but they are less common in patients on it. Next week She will raise my Depakote to 1000 Mg at night if my blood levels are ok. She said if my eyes don’t get better in two weeks she’s going to send me to another Dr. She’s really worried about that particular side effect. Just think in CO they would have been ah don’t sweat it. Truth is it bothers me Amy. Its like i woke up one day and everything beyond my finger tips is blurry. Plus one of my other Meds Hydrodiusil can cause really bad eye problems so i need to see if i can’t get off it. It is for adeema. Which i suffer from because of the heart and blood pressure issues. But Glacoma and some other serious blindness issues aren’t worth it. I’ll take bloated.
Brent Brents 5-19-11 9 00/ p.m.

The game of life is often Full of things unseen and unfair.
Brent Brents 5-7-11 830/p.m.

OK i have a serious Q. Do you think i would be wrong to write about empathy, Regret and shame and guilt as i see them feel them and experience them? I do feel empathy Amy. More than ever. Did i in years past, honestly i would say it was sparce and depended on my mood. Mostly it was for animals. I really did not understand how to to love so empathy was a fleeting idea for me. But once you and Ellen came into my life and i stopped Bullshitting myself and started to care about every one else in my life instead of Me only, I began to feel for the plight of others. Anyway what do you think? It’s been on my mind alot lately.

Brent Brents, 5-2-11 6/50 p.m.

I’m enclosing an article i read and some thoughts i had. Its for you to post if you want to. Maybe i was too blunt or not clear. Well i leave it to you. I guess i have been a bit reluctant lately to write for the site. I really don’t want people to think of it as mine or a pedastal for my sick mind. I only want to contribute.

Excerpt from, “Love-Luxury Or Necessity,” by Katherine Anthony, pre 1961 in Reader’s Digest 40th Anniversary Treasury.

“The baby is a creature that must be loved rather than a creature capable of loving. To develop this second ability, he needs to live in an atmosphere in which this mature kind of love is practiced. If his parents failed to chew, to walk or to speak, he would probably be backward in the acquisition of these arts. If his parents fail to furnish him with the example of love, he is desperately off. He may see the neighbors walk, and talk, and chew; but the subtle art of generous affection is usually demonstrated best before one’s own family…

Love is the greatest theraputic agent in the world. It is the greatest corrective of the exaggerated eccentricities of character. As it helps to prevent many kinds of mental disease, it also helps to cure them. The different kinds of neurosis are divided practically into curable and incurable. According to whether the unhappy victim can be reached through his affections or not. The mentally sick person is wrapped up in himself.

Love means sacrifice, but it produces a well-behaved personality. The importance of love is demonstrated more by the things which happen when it takes its normal place in life. As with many other vital necessities, we are scarcely conscious of its presence But let it once cease, and the personality falls into disintegration. Love is not cheap, but we must choose to pay the cost, for life demands at least that much heroism from all of us.”

We often hear of stories equated to ripples in a pond or links in a chain. But although there is a truth to the comparison, for each person it is much more personal.

Having said that i do believe the ripple effect is key in the future prevention of sexualy predatory, violently predatory and the criminaly predatory individual from becoming.

The above article was written over fifty years ago. And in a time when what happened behind Amercias doors Not only stayed there but festered like an infected wound there. My thoughts about the article are simple…There is a very distinct and fundamental truth in its message. “Love above all else is the very foundation in which to build the mind, heart, and soul of a child, who will then become an adult.”

I often write Amy and have her ask all of you for ideas on prevention. To use the site for this. I try to contribute without further hurting those i victimized. And still work at prevention. It’s not easy. Sometimes i may seem crass or just plain screwed up. I am only being me.

So how does one stop a sexual offender from reoffending after release from prison or probabtion or civil commitment etc. I must be honest. I have no earthly clue. Each case is different. Some offenders are purely offending for the power of it. Others for the high, others for the sexual pleasure and still others for a host of reasons unfathomable.

Sexual offender treatment in and out of prison is a shot in the dark. There is some success. But i will honestly tell you it often serves to only refine offenders skills. Guys enter with little forensic and psycological knowledge and exit with Phds in the arts of grooming, stalking, raping and evidence awareness.

Capital punishment for all sexual offenders. Extreme yes, but a very popular idea. Lockem up for life. Also popular. Both solve the recidivism problem and even help to prevent future victims to a degree. But fail to answer the prevention problem on a whole.

Chemical and physical castration. Ok so you’ve squelched the physical drive in about 15 to 20 percent of sexual offenders i would guess. But now you have emasculated, angry, inadequate human beings. Who will probably resort to other criminal violence. Most will turn to self medication. And pretty soon you have a machine bent on destroying as much as possible and not caring who why or how. If the penis can’t work they will subsitute. A more physicaly violent and distructive rape.

There are chemical shock and electric shock therapy treatments some sucess. But who knows how much. Group and individual therapies. Treatment plans based on each individuals personal crimes and needs. Probation and parole departments. Sexual offender task forces. Hotels and freeway underpasses for sexual offenders to live. School zones declared to be off limits, contact with minor children Not permitted. Gps tracking and monitoring. Posters on doors, sign posts, and trees. Declare John Doe is a sexual offender Level X. Websites with profiles.

All of this is our system of laws, Government and it is by the people for the people. Obviously it’s broken. Man hours, Money and Man power aren’t enough. Education, criminal psych, and hands on. Its to much for any one humans brain to comprehend. I have no clue how to fix whats broken now.

But it seems to me that if over fifty years ago we knew that love given to children would prevent them from growing up screwed up, why not focus on that and the other key elements of humanity like integrity, compasion, honesty, empathy, to name a few.

You’ve heard my story. My parents were not the best. We can’t choose who we are born to. In their own screwed up way they tried i suppose to love me. They weren’t well loved or cared for themselves as children. They did what they knew. The problem relates like this you can’t very well fix a lap top with a pipe wrench.

So as i read this older article in a book older than me it occurred to me. Love is a damn good place to start. I don’t know much about it. I know it heals wounds old and new. Your never to old, to young or to far gone to give it or recieve it. Its encredibly, very encredibly powerful.

When your with your child, if you catch them looking at you in wonder. So open, trusting and innocent. Thats the time to start the prevention. Simply by Loving your child with all of your being. No Not every one will be successful. There will be sexualy violent predators, and violent predatory criminals. Yes some will become despite love. But that should Not be a failure attached to the idea that Love is the corner stone of our very foundation. Its only reason to fight harder at prevention.

Brent Brents 3-13-11

Hey I was wondering what do you think they would do if i asked for the death penalty or summery execution. I believe i can make a strong case for the courts. I’m not sure how to go about it. I think i would have to ask the state courts first. Then go thru their appelet process, exhaust it. Then move to the US Federal Courts. Of course i would need legal help. Since i can’t afford that i would have to get a judge to appoint me legal council. I kinda know the basic process. But not well enough to be effective at any level without council.

After all Amy what kind of life do i have to look forward to. If i go to G.P. I will be killed or hurt. If i am hurt i end up in here anyway. If i am killed well i am killed. I could go to G.P. and when the eventual happens make sure someone sues on my behalf (money to charity of course) But thats not a game i want to play. Truthfully if i die i want it to be on my terms. What is my life worth. I”m costing tax payers around $150 a day, Roughly $54,000 a year. Can you imagine what ten to fifteen more years will cost. It cost the state about $50,000 to execute an inmate in over all costs. The feds even less.

Louisiana executes sexual offenders. They say our quality of living is ok. But i think living this way erodes the human brain and i will tell you those 7 days in G.P. were really hard on me. Not because of worry but because i have become seriously fucked up in my brain. I am worse than antisocial. I just have lost some ability to communicate. Ad to that my issues, and i was in fight or flight mode 24 hours a day.

I literaly have a deep hatred for the people around me. It’s the same old shit i have lived with my whole life and it’s a poison i detest. And i detest those who spew it forth. I hate the guards. The suits. The whole system. Its one perpetual life, falsehood and blackhole that eats your soul up. Quality of life my ass. I’m so worn out Amy.

I wish i could have a more peaceful life. But i will tell you this in all sincerity. No matter how much of a toll this takes on me. I will do it honestly because i owe it to them. All of them. They are to many like me who sit idle and never think of or care for those they victimize. I did that for the first 16. Not this time. No matter how much i feel like dying i won’t do it. I will stick it out.

Brent Brents, 3-9-11

So either tomorrow morning or evening i start on a mood stabilizer called Depacote. As you know i have been struggling greatly with the mental health issues. For a great many years. So it is time to stop and try to get a handle on it. Or at least try. More than you can ever know this decision really has broken my spirit. If there was one thing i felt good about it was that i could control my bipolar self. Having to admit defeat sucks. I feel less and yet, i am relieved. I just hope it works.

Ok heres how it’s going to work according to my psychiatrist. To start with i will take 250 mg. of the Depacote 2X a day for three weeks. Then either raise, take me off and try some different or leave it as is. This all depends on how i adjust to it mentaly and physicaly.

Phase two will be to address specificly my obsessive compulsivety and anxiety with Zoloft or a drug like it, again in a small doses to see if i will be stable on this drug type.

Phrase three, if one and two are sucessful i will then start a drug like Zyprexa this is specifically to help me gain a consistant sleep pattern. Getting hopefully 6 to 8 hours of sleep each night. She (my psych) thinks that alot of my mental health issues are due to Never having had a consistant sleep routine in my life. Sleeping in little 1 to 2 hour blocks and having restless sleep is seriously bad for the brain she tells me. @* REALLY! REALLY! REALLY! NO YOU DON’T SAY! Ok so that’s the plan.

Brent Brents, 2-21-11

In this post, Brent is referring to the anniversary of his final crime spree before his capture in February of 2005:

Do you realize in just five days and today too. All the hell i created. Plus all the others. It’s alot to absorb each day. And it doesn’t get any easier with the passing of the years. They are all in my head and in my heart. The sarrow and shame Never lessen. If anything it gets worse. I feel like i don’t have the right to hate my situation and whats happening. But it’s only natural. Yet i fight it. Because it is what i deserve. I really hope it gets better than this and soon. I’m not sure how much more i want to live with.
Brent Brents, 2-14-11

Heres something to consider. Have you ever thought about how blessed the human race is to have animals Like dogs, cats, horses and others like dolphins, birds and Big elephants that have affection for us. Without that Amy we would live miserable lives. And the world would definitely suck. Animals have definetly shaped our world.

Brent Brents, 1-23-11