I’m enclosing an article i read and some thoughts i had. Its for you to post if you want to. Maybe i was too blunt or not clear. Well i leave it to you. I guess i have been a bit reluctant lately to write for the site. I really don’t want people to think of it as mine or a pedastal for my sick mind. I only want to contribute.
Excerpt from, “Love-Luxury Or Necessity,” by Katherine Anthony, pre 1961 in Reader’s Digest 40th Anniversary Treasury.
“The baby is a creature that must be loved rather than a creature capable of loving. To develop this second ability, he needs to live in an atmosphere in which this mature kind of love is practiced. If his parents failed to chew, to walk or to speak, he would probably be backward in the acquisition of these arts. If his parents fail to furnish him with the example of love, he is desperately off. He may see the neighbors walk, and talk, and chew; but the subtle art of generous affection is usually demonstrated best before one’s own family…
Love is the greatest theraputic agent in the world. It is the greatest corrective of the exaggerated eccentricities of character. As it helps to prevent many kinds of mental disease, it also helps to cure them. The different kinds of neurosis are divided practically into curable and incurable. According to whether the unhappy victim can be reached through his affections or not. The mentally sick person is wrapped up in himself.
Love means sacrifice, but it produces a well-behaved personality. The importance of love is demonstrated more by the things which happen when it takes its normal place in life. As with many other vital necessities, we are scarcely conscious of its presence But let it once cease, and the personality falls into disintegration. Love is not cheap, but we must choose to pay the cost, for life demands at least that much heroism from all of us.”
We often hear of stories equated to ripples in a pond or links in a chain. But although there is a truth to the comparison, for each person it is much more personal.
Having said that i do believe the ripple effect is key in the future prevention of sexualy predatory, violently predatory and the criminaly predatory individual from becoming.
The above article was written over fifty years ago. And in a time when what happened behind Amercias doors Not only stayed there but festered like an infected wound there. My thoughts about the article are simple…There is a very distinct and fundamental truth in its message. “Love above all else is the very foundation in which to build the mind, heart, and soul of a child, who will then become an adult.”
I often write Amy and have her ask all of you for ideas on prevention. To use the site for this. I try to contribute without further hurting those i victimized. And still work at prevention. It’s not easy. Sometimes i may seem crass or just plain screwed up. I am only being me.
So how does one stop a sexual offender from reoffending after release from prison or probabtion or civil commitment etc. I must be honest. I have no earthly clue. Each case is different. Some offenders are purely offending for the power of it. Others for the high, others for the sexual pleasure and still others for a host of reasons unfathomable.
Sexual offender treatment in and out of prison is a shot in the dark. There is some success. But i will honestly tell you it often serves to only refine offenders skills. Guys enter with little forensic and psycological knowledge and exit with Phds in the arts of grooming, stalking, raping and evidence awareness.
Capital punishment for all sexual offenders. Extreme yes, but a very popular idea. Lockem up for life. Also popular. Both solve the recidivism problem and even help to prevent future victims to a degree. But fail to answer the prevention problem on a whole.
Chemical and physical castration. Ok so you’ve squelched the physical drive in about 15 to 20 percent of sexual offenders i would guess. But now you have emasculated, angry, inadequate human beings. Who will probably resort to other criminal violence. Most will turn to self medication. And pretty soon you have a machine bent on destroying as much as possible and not caring who why or how. If the penis can’t work they will subsitute. A more physicaly violent and distructive rape.
There are chemical shock and electric shock therapy treatments some sucess. But who knows how much. Group and individual therapies. Treatment plans based on each individuals personal crimes and needs. Probation and parole departments. Sexual offender task forces. Hotels and freeway underpasses for sexual offenders to live. School zones declared to be off limits, contact with minor children Not permitted. Gps tracking and monitoring. Posters on doors, sign posts, and trees. Declare John Doe is a sexual offender Level X. Websites with profiles.
All of this is our system of laws, Government and it is by the people for the people. Obviously it’s broken. Man hours, Money and Man power aren’t enough. Education, criminal psych, and hands on. Its to much for any one humans brain to comprehend. I have no clue how to fix whats broken now.
But it seems to me that if over fifty years ago we knew that love given to children would prevent them from growing up screwed up, why not focus on that and the other key elements of humanity like integrity, compasion, honesty, empathy, to name a few.
You’ve heard my story. My parents were not the best. We can’t choose who we are born to. In their own screwed up way they tried i suppose to love me. They weren’t well loved or cared for themselves as children. They did what they knew. The problem relates like this you can’t very well fix a lap top with a pipe wrench.
So as i read this older article in a book older than me it occurred to me. Love is a damn good place to start. I don’t know much about it. I know it heals wounds old and new. Your never to old, to young or to far gone to give it or recieve it. Its encredibly, very encredibly powerful.
When your with your child, if you catch them looking at you in wonder. So open, trusting and innocent. Thats the time to start the prevention. Simply by Loving your child with all of your being. No Not every one will be successful. There will be sexualy violent predators, and violent predatory criminals. Yes some will become despite love. But that should Not be a failure attached to the idea that Love is the corner stone of our very foundation. Its only reason to fight harder at prevention.
Brent Brents 3-13-11