Normaly i would be asleep right now. Our No Shower days are Sundays and Wednesdays. But since we’ve been on lockdown since Monday and haven’t showered since Saturday They had to give us Showers today. Talk about nasty shower i was 7th out of 8. 😦 EEEW! Man it smelled like a swamp in there. You don’t need to know the rest…So i am thankful i have a running sink, flushing toilet and i can be happy about a shower every 4 days. Once you live in a Concrete cell, you actualy begin to see literaly how much dander one person can create. It’s Not a pleasant thought. Nor is the fact that we are alive with bacteria and microscopic creatures in the hundreds of millions.
Brent Brents 11-10-10 10:34 A.M.
Author Archives: Amy Herdy
It’s Not a pleasant thought
Filed under Prison
This isolation does bad things to ones mind
I’ve really become obsessive these Last five years. It’s gotten so bad that i have literaly become compulsively Germ fearful. The other day this lady handed me my towel thru the shower slot and i saw her Nails. She has fake nails about a half inch past her finger tips. Underneath there was Gunk Nasty Crud like toe Jam. And when she was patting me down and her hands were on my shoulders her hands smelled like dirty pee puss. So by the time she took my cuffs off in the cell i felt like my shower was a waste. I had to wash up all over in my sink. 😦 I am sick that way for sure. This isolation does bad things to ones mind.
Brent Brents 9–20-10 12:30 A.M.
Filed under Prison
The women got it bad
Watching “Lockdown” Denver County Jail. On National Geographic Channel. What an animal house. They aren’t showing much of the womens side. Mostly because they don’t want the public feeling any sympathy for them. The women got it bad. it’s always been bad for the guys but the guys are financialy usualy better off. Women don’t often have Bros on the outside to take care of them. And most women who end up in prison or jail fall well below the poverty line. Pretty sad.
Brent Brents 10-3-10 11 00 p.m.
Filed under Prison
“Diary” featured in Denver’s Westword Magazine
Denver columnist Michael Roberts of the Westword wrote about Diary of a Predator Wednesday.
Diary of a Predator, a new book by Amy Herdy, isn’t simply a true-crime tale based on the disturbing actions of serial rapist Brent J. Brents. It’s also a memoir that pulls back the curtains on Herdy’s reporting of the Brents story for the Denver Post, revealing conflicts with editors involving everything from their suggestion to use Brents’ off-the-record comments because he was “a piece of shit” who would never sue to their opening of her mail.
Roberts goes on to talk about the story behind the story (behind the story), including his own involvement. Roberts reported on Herdy’s involvement with the Brent Brents story, as detailed in this excerpt from Diary of a Predator:
An editor appearing at my desk to tell me that Michael Roberts, the media columnist from Westword, wanted to talk to me about Brents.
It was Monday, July 11, following Friday’s sentencing in Aurora, and I was in pretty good spirits. Until I was told Roberts was on the phone.
“I have some questions for you, and I’ll just go down the list,” he said nearly as soon as I picked up the line.
“First question: Did you send Brents a photo of yourself, as is rumored?”
And just like that, my temper lit. My reply was as swift as his question.
“Off the record, Mike?” I asked, and waited. “OK,” he confirmed, but still I repeated it again.
“Off the record?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck you. Fuck you for asking that question. I’m not gonna talk to you.”
And I hung up.
Less than five minutes later, one of the editors was standing next to me, clearing his throat uncomfortably while I ignored him and stared at my computer screen, trying to appear as if I were riveted by fascinating email.
“You really should give Michael Roberts an interview,” he said.
“Nope.”
“And he says you sent Brents a picture of yourself. Did you?”
I shook my head as my eyes narrowed, and despite my attempts to contain my irritation, I found myself glaring at him. Et tu, Brutus? I thought. “No, I never sent him a picture. And p.s., he never asked for one, either.”
“Well, I still need to get a statement from you.”
“OK,” I said, spinning around in my wheeled chair to face him. “My statement is short: ‘Fuck you.’”
He blinked and then eyed me curiously, as if trying to figure out whether I was joking, or whether I was going to start speaking in tongues or perhaps leap out of the chair and scream.
In return, I tried to grin cheerfully at him, although I was still angry, so the result ended up with me pulling my lips back from my teeth. In the animal kingdom, I thought, that’s what we call a snarl.Not a good way to reassure him that while he may think me crazy, he needn’t fear that I was going to flip out. Not today, anyway.
Faced with clear insubordination, he took the only route he knew: dictatorship.
“Harrumph,” he began, and I realized with some amusement that it was the first time I had actually ever heard someone make that sound. “It’s best that you talk to him. So I expect you to call him back. Soon.”
He then turned and left. Cursing, I looked up Robert’s number and dialed it, punching each digit with irritation.
Maybe I had to talk to Roberts, I thought, but it didn’t have to be officially.
“OK, I’ll talk to you,” I told him when he answered his phone, “but only on background, all of it off the record. Agreed?”
“Agreed,” Roberts said, sounding cheerful. I decided to let that go.
Filed under Uncategorized
We were literaly dying
You and i Amy we are unique. Two very very different human beings. Yet so similar. Driven to figure out this thing that has affected us both. Five years ago we were stalking people. You for the scoop. Me for the release. 24/7 seeking to obey that adrenaline master. What No one gets is that we were so weary. Sleep deprived, Mentaly and emotionaly spent, unhealthy both physicaly and mentaly. We were literaly dying. In this strange self promoted way. Being Predatory is exhausting. Boo hoo! Many would say. But they don’t get that it becomes an addiction that eats at your very soul. Killing you and everything you love or want to. It eats at your brain. In one way or another you Neglect everything and everyone. And are too far gone to realize it or know how to stop. Capture death or miraculas intervention are the only way to stop. What a sad way to live ones life.
Brent Brents 12-1 10 2:23 A.M
Filed under Prison
A Hunter at Work
Diary of a Predator is now available in the Kindle, Nook and Google stores. Please enjoy this excerpt. Continue reading
Filed under The story
Trying to believe
I used to think the bible just a stupid book with a B.S. story. Even now i May be a realist and doubt the way things happened in some of the stories. But i believe in the principle of faith hope and love it teaches. They are not easy concepts For an angry, selfish, embittered, and hateful man/child to grasp. But when one does, No Matter what their faith, Life really does get better. I know what the rest of my life behind bars will be like. Whether it’s behind a cell door or on a yard it’s the same. It’s a place for bitter, angry, hateful, selfish, men/children. From person to person. Prison to prison. State to state. Faces and names will change. But This world never does. So All i can do is keep my faith hope and love. And Let it sustain this me.
Brent Brents 1-5-11 7:00 A.M.
Filed under Brents' writings
“Everybody needs somebody”
A reader says:
I just wanted to say that I was brutally attacked and abused as a child. I grew up homeless with my mother and was also abused by her.By the time I was 13 I was a prostitute and full blown drug addict and alcoholic. I was held at gun point , kidnapped and raped and assaulted over the years more times than I can count. I am now 37 years old and although I have had a history of being in Jails and misdemeanor offenses over the years , I was very tempted to commit crimes , one of them being to kill my mother , I never did. There is no excuse to be violent and cause others pain. I have attempted suicide many times , and failed….but I wanted to say that I , being a person with an exremly tragic past where silent violence was done to me from the time I was a toddler , have not abused another person like this man. I do think that God has provided for him in a friend like you. I think that if he would have had a compassionate caregiver as a child it would have vastly changed him.
Falling through the cracks of the system is something that happens to people like me and people like him all of the time. I only went to the 1st week of 7th grade and have had so many problems that I cannot even focus enough to obtain my GED. I have not been able to hold a job and the jobs I have had , are nothing more than flipping burgers or picking up trash. The way I was treated in my life caused me to feel just like that , trash. But I never give up and continue to try to overcome and even when I feel like taking out my anger on others , I do something else. I pray , or when I am so mad at God I cannot do that , I get drunk….or stay in bed and watch TV. Thats how I saw the program that you were on. I try not to feel sorry for myself , and realize that I am not less than human although I feel like I am.
Everybody needs somebody. And you are that person for this man. I don’t buy the excuse that his childhood made him do it , because of my own life , but I think that whatever it is , it is good for him to have you as a friend and I hope that he can someday face what he did without blaming someone else , although in essence I do blame others and even God sometimes for not being able to get it together. Thanks for seeing one person in this world and having compassion where noone else would. It lets me know that there are people who still have feelings. Whose hearts aren’t hardened. One more glimpse of Hope and a little more faith , this gives to people . Faith in mankind.
Rhebecca
Dear Rhebecca,
Thank you for sharing your story, especially on your efforts to deal with your anger over what happened to you. I’m glad you have not let it define you.
And please know I agree with you–I don’t buy the excuse that Brents’ childhood made him hurt others–that was his choice. Knowing about his background helps explain the “why” behind the havoc he wreaked upon others, but it sure doesn’t excuse it.
I think that over the years, he has come to blame no one but himself. As it should be.
And, again, you’re right–I do have compassion for him. Not pity, but compassion. And honestly, before I covered his case, I had hardened my heart from years of covering difficult stories. And then his case showed me a lot about human nature–not just from him, but from his attorney, and some of his victims, and by how the mainstream media reacted–and I slowly started to change. I’m still cynical at times. I’m a work in progress. But I do what I can, and it’s comments like yours to this website that continue to nudge me in the right direction.
Whatever you do, Rhebbecca, don’t give up your faith. It may feel like it at times, but you are not alone.
–Amy
Filed under The story
“Let him rot where he belongs”
A reader writes:
A close friend of mine was assaulted by this creature, you call him human and not an animal. We’re all primal animals in human form, affected by our civilizing process and our own emotional/intellectual choices. Nothing you’ve posted here by him is original, lots of previous books etc. published trying to “understand” violent predators. I resent that your efforts give him a forum, whether you intend it or not. We’re nearing the anniversary month for many of his Denver victims, and I suspect your motives for bringing out your book at this time. What if we just let him rot where he belongs, with no websites about him, no one making money from him (no matter where it gets donated), no one caring what happens to him, as he clearly did not care what he did to children and women.
First and last time I’ll view your website.
I’m very sorry for the pain that Brents has caused your friend, as well as his other victims, and those who care for them. And I understand why you disagree about his humanity.
You need to know that I have no “motive” regarding the timing of the publishing of my book about this case. It was actually scheduled to be published by December 1, and then due to circumstances beyond my control which included difficulties in converting the files electronically, as well as then an emergency issue with my elderly parents, it was delayed.
The e-book version should finish uploading soon, and that process evolved at its own pace with no one manipulating the timing. But the print edition will not be published for another three to four months.
I’m aware that February is a wrenching month for many because of Brents, and I’m also aware that there are those he hurt whose painful anniversaries fall on different days of the year, all year.
The book is a dual memoir, and it covers my story more than his–which is the journey of my growing realization of how we in the media often lose sight of our best selves in the desperate competition for stories. Toward that end, I feel it’s an important story worth sharing.
I wish you peace.
–Amy Herdy
Filed under The story
I suffer Continual Shame and guilt
I hope i have done right by all these last few years. It’s Not easy to have a brain that works the way Mine does. I don’t think they would understand, believe or care that i actualy suffer from an illness that i don’t think anyone will understand for a long time. I suppose that there is No Medical diagnosis for someone who unwantingly has violent sexual fantacies and ideas thousands of times a day some days. I suffer Continual Shame and guilt. I don’t want to be Like this Any More than anyone else does. It’s frustratingly Maddening. It affects so much of My day to day life. It drives me to the brink of suicide More often than i care to admit. I feel dirty and vile all the time. It sucks that i size up every womans sex as i see them. It doesn’t discriminate. Fat, Short, Old, Skinny, Pretty, Tall, Young. Red Blonde Black or Pink hair. Race or anything…I would rather be back on heroin and booze 24/7. At least by now i would be dead….I remember those women standing in that courtroom saying i hope you suffer the same pain you caused us. And the Judge saying i hope you use every day of this time to think about what you’ve done. Well they have no idea. Here i am. Not feeling Sorry for myself. This thing whatever it is eats at me every minute of every day for them. So much this thing drives me.
–Brent Brents
Diary of a Predator 