Tag Archives: manic

I don’t wanna fuck up

I haven’t had my manic depression meds since they moved me, December 18. I’m up and down every day, to the point of having rage in my brain.

I’ve been begging these people to put me on Abilify like they promised me. I’ve put in 5 kites [written requests]. And I’m still waiting to see the psychiatrist.

I want to mellow out. The shit is getting to my brain. I understand what’s going on, and I can only remove myself physically from so many situations.

I can’t read. Can’t focus. I need to get on that medication. I’m depressed. Then I get manic and start feeling bad things and I come back to my cell.

I don’t wanna fuck up.

-Brent Brents, January 17, 2018

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Filed under Brents' writings, Prison, Psychiatric evaluations

no more OCD meds means the bugs will come back

Oh did i tell you i have no more hair? Yes i broke down and had it all cut off. It is so hard to care for in the hole and well, no more OCD meds means the bugs will come back and I’ll itch myself to death. (The bugs are already back.) I”m already itching badly. Damn Bugs 😦

I’m running around with half of a Right eye brow. 🙂 HA! No OCD Meds! It’s been tuff no doubt. Alot of Anxiety, Boredom, and eating out of Both. I really have to watch the mania. But at least i get to talk to my counselor every two weeks. It really helps. Alot more than the every 90 days.

-Brent Brents 6-5-17

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I keep waking up at night with these dreams about old shit

Me, I’m singin the square box blues. Na not really. Still pissed at myself for the whole bullshit. I really hate being manic. Damn it sucks. I wish there was a Pill or a shot that worked specifically to stop it in its tracks. Hey I’m Feeling manic, ok bend over and take this shot in the hip. It’ll hurt you worse than it will hurt me! Says the Doc.

Fuck I’m lookin back at this whole situation and the fight part I can’t remember. But the whole discussion up to it i do. What a punk i was being. Poor kid man. I’m just Glad this wasn’t 10 or twelve years ago. Jees what would i have done then. And my verbal combat skills are Samuri Sharp. So baiting him was to easy. I got to tell you though i was really shocked he hit me. I was like: Why you little pipsqueak pion, You dare hit mua, me. God among men, immortal soul. You Fuckin hit me. Ok This is where all sense of reality just stepped aside Litteraly. Like i said all of a sudden i saw Ron hitting Punching me. The worse part is now I’m having sleepless nights because i am dreaming about that (Ron hitting). Or me hitting…Even way back. I keep waking up at night, with these dreams about old shit. And They are aged right dreams. Like the first time he hit me because i got between him and Carol. I was already confused as to why he hated mommy so much. To me mommy was a princess who could do no wrong. But that night i learned fear.

-Brent Brents 1-30-17

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without doing violence

So in the 2 1/2 years i have been on my meds i have realy done well and haven’t had any Serious breakdowns that i couldn’t deal with. Any manic times i couldn’t get through without doing violence.

-Brent Brents 8-25-14

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