Category Archives: Prison

“You Know you Never will truly trust me”

It’s been a day of Reflection. You Know you Never will truly trust me. No matter how much you care, you can’t help but hold my past in judgement of me. It’s OK. I get it but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t matter how much i have changed or do continue to change. Sure i will always be disturbed Thats my Road in life. But my heart is so much more Amy. No matter how cinical you are there is a truth you will never be able to see. Its to bad. I am proud of who i have become in these few years. I have realy learned alot about the value of the human being. I have seen the value of love, family, friends. I have learned empathy and sorrow for peoples pain and loss. Powerful it is when you feel it. I choose to remember Not so the acts Amy but the costs of the acts. Even though you will never be able to see me without attaching Brent Brents sexual predator to me, its ok. I know you do care. That is one of the consequences of my choices Amy. No One will see me as human. There will always be an attachment; sexual predator, Rapist child molester, liar, violent criminal. Its simply what humans do. We judge. You will always be suspicious, thinking i have some ulterior motive. And i will probably die trying Just to simply be caring and a friend. But Always hear the words sexual predator. I wish i could change that identity but once one has it it is for life.

-Brent Brents, Feb. 27, 2010

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“Feeling angry and hateful at the moment”

Amy,

Hi you. How was your day? Better than mine i hope. I am on a swing. Feeling angry and hateful at the moment. No Particular Rhyme or Reason. Just my stoopid mind doing its thing. Sad one minute Raging the next. Feeling very out of Control. Lonely you name it the last three hours have been bad. Up Down all around. Right now i could use a drink. No meth or heroin, Just some Good ole Grey Goose or Stoli ah hell right out of a still would do. Sometimes when i need a hug the most there isn’t one to be had. So i just have to manage.

-Brent Brents, Feb. 24, 2010

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“i look in the mirror and my self worth takes a dump”

I just finished watching Oprah. She had a guy named Greg Milligan and his sister on. They were raped and abused by Their mother. Its heart wrenching to sit here and hear his story and see how it affects him. I have this respect for him because he didn’t turn out like me. IN fact he seems to be a real good man. So i think it would do you some good to go on line and watch todays show. Greg Milligan is his name. I think what you see will seriously freaked at how he and i could have swapped lives as children and been Perfectly at home in each others lives. Sickly and Sadly. Yet somehow he managed to Not become me. I wonder if you were able to talk to him maybe you could see what was different that helped him…Ya know a decent comparison of how i became me and how he suceeded. Just a thought. I see people like this guy and i look in the mirror and my self worth takes a dump.

-Brent Brents, Feb. 15, 2010

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Counseling in prison

Regarding counseling in prison: The counseling (in prison) was good, the environment wasn’t good. You’re in prison. You’ll be targeted as a victim. So what sense does it make? They target you as a sex offender. They find out and you either offend or defend yourself or let shit happen to you.

Brent Brents, Feb. 25, 2010

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A history of incarceration

At the age of 12, Brent Brents was sent to a boy’s home for attacking other children, and spent most of his youth in various juvenile detention facilities where he was accused of sexually assaulting others as well as having “inappropriate relationships” with other inmates and staff.

His family moved to Colorado, where Brents spent the bulk of his teenage years in and out of various juvenile facilities. Then in 1988 in Denver, an 18-year-old Brents used the pretense of a lost cat to lure a 6-year-old boy into an alley, where he raped him and then stuffed him into a trash bin. A few days later he hid next to a neighbor’s house and grabbed their 9-year-old daughter as she climbed the fence to return home after walking to a nearby Burger King. Brents dragged the girl to the family’s garage and raped her at knifepoint, threatening to kill her if she screamed. After the children identified their attacker, police issued a warrant for his arrest. Brents left the state in the middle of the night, and was later arrested as he headed toward his mother’s home near Las Vegas.

In the 1980s not much was known about pedophilia. In an effort to keep the young victims from the 1988 case from having to testify, prosecutors offered Brents a plea agreement of being guilty but legally insane. He was sentenced to 20 years, with the beginning of his sentence to be served in a state mental hospital “until restored to sanity,” according to court records.

Brents remained at the Colorado Mental Health Institute in Pueblo for two years and four months before doctors there requested he be thrown out.

“For more than two years, staff have attempted to help Mr. Brents with his very traumatic past,” wrote Eric Whyte, the acting chief of psychiatry for the hospital, in a memo to a Denver district judge dated April 29, 1991. “He has made very little progress while in the hospital and exhibits very little insight into his illness…He has continued to act out his feelings impulsively, and recently stated that one method he uses to cope with painful feelings within himself is to inflict pain on other people.”

Brents had become “assaultive with staff,” Whyte wrote, after being transferred three times for “inappropriate sexual behavior.”

After that, Brents was transferred to various prisons throughout the state. Seven times, he waived a parole hearing, and also refused sexual offender treatment, taking the additional six months of prison over the supervision tied to parole. In July 2004, four years short of his 20-year sentence and despite a history of sexual violence toward children, Brents was released without parole.

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Prison life

The following is from a letter Brent Brents sent to me in July 2005, shortly after he was sentenced to 1,509 years and re-entered the prison system.

-Amy Herdy

Well Hello There Amy,

I sent you a letter Last nigh. I sold my lunch yesterday for a stamp-the guy hates me but Loves chicken paddies…So how was your weekend. Mine was relatively exciting I continue to do my study on Relative Boardom. It seems the subject will in fact find many and varied ways to entertain oneself. from capturing hundreds of ants in a styrofoam cup to using said styrofoam cup as a basket and an orange seed as a basketball…Slept many hours (well not realy slept) But Rested when there were no Inmates in the corridor. Count the bricks on my cell (426)…My neighbors are arguing over a stupid chess game (Another every day occurance.) They are both dishonest and since they play by number from cell to cell they cheat. The others are yakin about their whores (hoes) and how much crack they were servin…Some days its all about how they got ratted on or how its always someone elses fault. Now I know why I did not miss prison. (The Bullshit) There is a sadness to it all. It does rot a persons brain. you have to be acceptional not to get caught up in one form or another of Prison Polotics and Bullshit. And if you manage that your considered a rat or just treated generally like shit. I’ve seen it all for years and it never changes. (only the names will change.) Same Shit, Different Day, Bigger Shovel. And its that way for the cops to. All Prisoners have a vice. Drugs, Sex, Gambling, Violence, Race whatever there is something for everyone. Physicaly none of the guys on my teer are a challenge if I were to face them one on one.  But thats impossible most of the time. If I could get a nickel for every time one of them says hes going to kill me the girls would all be wealthy beyond measure. One guy never says anything. He just nods. See Amy no matter how much you or anyone else tries to understand what prison and jail is like you have had to have experienced it for at Least a year. The violent aspect you see on T.V. is a very minor part. Imagine waking up in a little room every day for the rest of your life…

For some the lonlines becomes unbearable and they turn to other men or fall prey to predator males. Still others become prostitutes to purchase there commisary needs or drugs. Any way you look at it once a person does anything sexual and is found out he becomes a mark or a victim to one half of the population and a piece of shit to the other. Unwritten law says you stick with your own kind. Violate this and again persona No Grato to half and victim to the other half. Snitch or Rat and everyone hates you even the cops. Child molester-killers and theres a good chance you could or would be severely injured, murdered or slaved (punked) most end up in the later servatude. Drugs are plentyful whatever your addiction is its Available. Less product and more money than on the street of course (risk enflation) the chances of becoming involved in some type of violence As A Result of Said drug use 85% to 95% eventualy. Gang violence or the threat of has become a daily thing whether or not you bang as they say. You can never trust any one in prison. If you do then your an Idiot. Most prisoners are like small predators. But then you have your hyenas, wolves, lyons, snakes. The predators vary and you can spot them easily. Hyenas most young gang bangers wont take you unless they are more than 3 or 4. Wolves can go either way a gang or solo. Lyons usualy solo but Loyal to a gang. and snakes are straight predators. They will be loose they can…Violence increases 100 percent Thanksgiving thru New Years and in the beginning of summers. Nothing you know of Life outside goes inside with you, what possessions you have are Truly not yours. The one thing you Truly own (your Body) Is not even yours. Then After years of the same routine even your mind Is not yours. Yes you may be able to think and act to some degree for your self but esentaly your Institutionalized and There is Little you can do to be any different. For most the Idea of death after so many years becomes welcome. This is All to say Nothing of the compramises in morales and values that will take place as you pass years in prison. The changes in  your mentality you become things you hate, you do things you swore you would never do. You Live Like An Animal. The Truly sad Thing is No matter how a person argues it, this is the truth of the matter.

-Brent Brents 7-25-05

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I don’t talk to them

I don’t Talk to them, The inmates or cops. I don’t yell, scream or bang on shit. I don’t look them in the eye So they can’t Say I Intimidated them. I sag my shoulders and Look purposely weak and meek. If I do have to talk to them for any reason its yes suh No suh and I try to keep all Answers As Short As possible with a weak voice. This way they cant have any reason to fuck with me or hurt me. I am a good dog and they Like that.

-Brent Brents, Feb 23, 2006

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