“You Know you Never will truly trust me”

It’s been a day of Reflection. You Know you Never will truly trust me. No matter how much you care, you can’t help but hold my past in judgement of me. It’s OK. I get it but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t matter how much i have changed or do continue to change. Sure i will always be disturbed Thats my Road in life. But my heart is so much more Amy. No matter how cinical you are there is a truth you will never be able to see. Its to bad. I am proud of who i have become in these few years. I have realy learned alot about the value of the human being. I have seen the value of love, family, friends. I have learned empathy and sorrow for peoples pain and loss. Powerful it is when you feel it. I choose to remember Not so the acts Amy but the costs of the acts. Even though you will never be able to see me without attaching Brent Brents sexual predator to me, its ok. I know you do care. That is one of the consequences of my choices Amy. No One will see me as human. There will always be an attachment; sexual predator, Rapist child molester, liar, violent criminal. Its simply what humans do. We judge. You will always be suspicious, thinking i have some ulterior motive. And i will probably die trying Just to simply be caring and a friend. But Always hear the words sexual predator. I wish i could change that identity but once one has it it is for life.

-Brent Brents, Feb. 27, 2010

1 Comment

Filed under Prison, Quotes

One response to ““You Know you Never will truly trust me”

  1. Natasha

    This is a powerful letter. Brent, if you’re reading this, I’ve been reading this website for hours and feeling much empathy for you, and can really feel your torment. If you were let out of prison and I lived near you, I would be scared of you. I feel bad for saying this and I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but it’s the truth. It’s a primal survival, self-care thing, not because of judgment necessarily, but because you say you constantly wrestle with violent thoughts, and that others wouldn’t be safe if you were a free man (correct me if I’m wrong). That said, I feel that prisons as they stand today are horrible places and dehumanizing and in no way “corrective” or “rehabilitating”, they only make distressed prisoners more distressed. I wish there was a medium — something like constant supervision of violent prisoners in order to ensure safety of self and others, but with some humanity and compassion attached to it. May I ask, what would be your ideal vision if you could wave a wand and make it happen, past mistakes aside? Do you think you could 100% stop yourself from hurting others in those moments that your rage comes flooding through your mind, if you were a free man?

    Sincerely,
    Natasha

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