Prison life

The following is from a letter Brent Brents sent to me in July 2005, shortly after he was sentenced to 1,509 years and re-entered the prison system.

-Amy Herdy

Well Hello There Amy,

I sent you a letter Last nigh. I sold my lunch yesterday for a stamp-the guy hates me but Loves chicken paddies…So how was your weekend. Mine was relatively exciting I continue to do my study on Relative Boardom. It seems the subject will in fact find many and varied ways to entertain oneself. from capturing hundreds of ants in a styrofoam cup to using said styrofoam cup as a basket and an orange seed as a basketball…Slept many hours (well not realy slept) But Rested when there were no Inmates in the corridor. Count the bricks on my cell (426)…My neighbors are arguing over a stupid chess game (Another every day occurance.) They are both dishonest and since they play by number from cell to cell they cheat. The others are yakin about their whores (hoes) and how much crack they were servin…Some days its all about how they got ratted on or how its always someone elses fault. Now I know why I did not miss prison. (The Bullshit) There is a sadness to it all. It does rot a persons brain. you have to be acceptional not to get caught up in one form or another of Prison Polotics and Bullshit. And if you manage that your considered a rat or just treated generally like shit. I’ve seen it all for years and it never changes. (only the names will change.) Same Shit, Different Day, Bigger Shovel. And its that way for the cops to. All Prisoners have a vice. Drugs, Sex, Gambling, Violence, Race whatever there is something for everyone. Physicaly none of the guys on my teer are a challenge if I were to face them one on one.  But thats impossible most of the time. If I could get a nickel for every time one of them says hes going to kill me the girls would all be wealthy beyond measure. One guy never says anything. He just nods. See Amy no matter how much you or anyone else tries to understand what prison and jail is like you have had to have experienced it for at Least a year. The violent aspect you see on T.V. is a very minor part. Imagine waking up in a little room every day for the rest of your life…

For some the lonlines becomes unbearable and they turn to other men or fall prey to predator males. Still others become prostitutes to purchase there commisary needs or drugs. Any way you look at it once a person does anything sexual and is found out he becomes a mark or a victim to one half of the population and a piece of shit to the other. Unwritten law says you stick with your own kind. Violate this and again persona No Grato to half and victim to the other half. Snitch or Rat and everyone hates you even the cops. Child molester-killers and theres a good chance you could or would be severely injured, murdered or slaved (punked) most end up in the later servatude. Drugs are plentyful whatever your addiction is its Available. Less product and more money than on the street of course (risk enflation) the chances of becoming involved in some type of violence As A Result of Said drug use 85% to 95% eventualy. Gang violence or the threat of has become a daily thing whether or not you bang as they say. You can never trust any one in prison. If you do then your an Idiot. Most prisoners are like small predators. But then you have your hyenas, wolves, lyons, snakes. The predators vary and you can spot them easily. Hyenas most young gang bangers wont take you unless they are more than 3 or 4. Wolves can go either way a gang or solo. Lyons usualy solo but Loyal to a gang. and snakes are straight predators. They will be loose they can…Violence increases 100 percent Thanksgiving thru New Years and in the beginning of summers. Nothing you know of Life outside goes inside with you, what possessions you have are Truly not yours. The one thing you Truly own (your Body) Is not even yours. Then After years of the same routine even your mind Is not yours. Yes you may be able to think and act to some degree for your self but esentaly your Institutionalized and There is Little you can do to be any different. For most the Idea of death after so many years becomes welcome. This is All to say Nothing of the compramises in morales and values that will take place as you pass years in prison. The changes in  your mentality you become things you hate, you do things you swore you would never do. You Live Like An Animal. The Truly sad Thing is No matter how a person argues it, this is the truth of the matter.

-Brent Brents 7-25-05