OK So Nothing changes in here the walls are still here. There is still the echo of slamming doors. The bullshit war stories and verbal wars between opposing gangs and angry men. Same O. Same O.
Brent Brents 10-6-2013
Category Archives: Brents' writings
angry men
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the cycle in Childhood
Some things just blow my Mind. Some day maybe the world will have a different view. We’ve got to prevent and enterupt the cycle in Childhood. Sadly most people who have had the emotional high of rape, will more often than not, continue to rape. Especialy if their victims don’t come forward.
Brent Brents 8-25-13
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The world is full of “Bad” Things
I hate the politicians who get rich while the country slow dies one freedom at a time. I hate the dealers who push their dope killing our young and old alike. I hate that people like myself brew fear in peoples lives. I hate drunken men and women who get behind the wheel. I hate skinhead Racists who spew out regurgitated Hitler bullshit.
The world is full of “Bad” Things to hate. But the worst of these is enaction. The will to do Nothing Sucks.
-Brent Brents 7-22-13
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lots of emotions i don’t deal with
So where am i emotionaly. the truth is Not so good. Spending my life in a cell really does eat at my brain. I catch myself questioning life. I dont want to be cowardly but some days suicide does seem like a valid thing to do. I get depressed out of the blue. There are lots of emotions i don’t deal with to well. Wanting to die is one. Anyway I choose life. What there is of it is more than I’ve ever had.
-Brent Brents 5-21-2013
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Not unsympathetic to the Idea of the death penalty
Note from Amy: In this post, Brent Brents is referring to the Boston Marathon bombings and the 19-year-old surviving suspect.
So yes i am sad about the whole Marathon deal. I feel sometimes like its wrong for me to have thoughts or feelings or empathy, and anger, or sadness because of what i did. That it some how Nullifies my feelings or thoughts in other people’s eyes.
But i do feel, and i do think. I am Not unsympathetic to the Idea of the death penalty for this Kid. I would have understood it for myself.
-Brent Brents 4-22-13
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Rape only happens when a predator, attacker or some shithead decides to take advantage
Note from Amy: In the following post, Brent Brents is referring to the Steubenville, Ohio rape case.
I believe in cases like this where the victims either drink or do drugs or are doped by some asshole These victims have a lot more guilt they deal with. Not to say they should. I think they think it is their fault for drinking or druging. But they shouldn’t feel guilt. Rape only happens when a predator, attacker or some shithead decides to take advantage of the victims in those situations. Like a high school football player who thinks he’s above the rules.
-Brent Brents 3-19-13
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that same apologetic teary eyed act
So i kept a close watch on the Stubenville Ohio Rape case where the two high school football players raped that girl. I’m glad the judge found them guilty. Shamed that he only gave them one year in juvee. The one Kid got all teary eyed and broke down apologizing. But it wasn’t out of empathy for the young girl. It was for him realizing he had just lost all that was good for him. It was selfish. I know because i have given that same apologetic teary eyed act before. It was selfish.
It’s to bad he doesn’t get empathy. It’s taken me a lifetime to realize the power that people with empathy have. They are often seen as week but the truth is they are the strong. I am getting there. But i was that boy with the tears and choking sobs. They are touching. But I like him, I was only just realizing how bad i screwed up and what the consequences meant for me.
-Brent Brents 3-19-13
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Chemical Castration
Well my only real issue lately is my OCD. It’s real real hard (No Pun intended) to Not want to masturbate or Push the fantacies out of my head. I can’t masturbate because of the meds anyway. Chemical Castration so to speak. You might i would be sad or upset by that. Honestly No I couldn’t be happier about that part of my life. It sure makes it easier to push the fantacies aside and eases the compulsion to masturbate or wash my hands every 5 minutes. Because I equate the fantacies with dirty hands.
-Brent Brents 3-13-2013
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the leap from feeling the pain of loneliness to Rage
In February 2005, Brent Brents went on his final and most horrific crime spree, of which I write about in Diary of a Predator: A Memoir, the book that is based upon his case. Recently he sent me a letter reflecting on this awful anniversary, and this is what he said:
I hate this part of February. I still can’t forgive myself for any of it. Valentine’s Day is like this big ugly reminder of all the hate, rage, and lost feeling. Over the years since I’ve been back in prison, I’ve come to realize that being Lonely really does fuck up ones thinking If you let it. Add Loneliness, Anti Social, and rage and you get one very cowardly, angry person who truly doesn’t know how to enteract or Communicate his desire to belong. I really didn’t have the mental health stuff all in check like i thought. So it was easy for me to make the leap from feeling the pain of loneliness to Rage.
Once i began I didn’t want to stop. The more i did, the more i wanted to release the rage i had kept inside all those years. It’s difficult to reconcile me Then, to me Now.
Why is it we fight the Mental health Diagnosis. Years ago i was told i should probably be medicated. Maybe it would have helped. I can’t say for sure. But i doubt it i liked my drugs and the violence to much. But Now i enjoy the drug free life, I like knowing i have No stress over certain things in my life.
But the bigger truth in all this is I am constantly learning New things about emotions. I like this feeling of Compasion. And empathy is painful but necissary to really understand people and their feelings. Plus it helps me to feel like a real person.
-Brent Brents 2-11-13
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hard to battle the manic depression
i feel like a dog with Nothing but Love and pent up energy. It is hard at times Not to go insane in here. The Daily regamin is the same Day to day, week to week. I need it. Yet it does become mentaly heavy. It’s hard to battle the manic depression when i don’t have much positive stimulus.
-Brent Brents 1-20-13
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Diary of a Predator 