Oh heres what was written on my granola bag. “Feed your soul with Good thoughts. Feed your body with Good things. Make today a New day!” I thought this was a cool thing in a world where Negativity rules most things.
Brent Brents 9-9-12
Category Archives: Brents' writings
a cool thing
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a better side of me
Well i hope your having a good evening. As for me it’s that time. oh i wanted to thank you for some thing. It’s been just over a year since I began taking my meds. One of the things i really was scared about was being judged by you. I didn’t want you to see me as crazy. If anything we both see a better side of me And you still show confidence in me. So thank you.
Brent Brents 8-27-12
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empathy
I tell you Amy empathy aint an easy emotion to deal with…i am really learning to open up to it. It’s painful and Not a good feeling to have. I mean yes it’s good to have empathy. But hard to think about. It’s one of those things i don’t have control over. And well Control freak Me is struggling.
Brent Brents 8-12-12
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What is happening with people
Note from Amy: In this post, Brent Brents is referring to the mass shooting at an Aurora, Colo. movie theater.
So how’s this for It’s got to be something in the water. Is Colorado becoming the land of Deranged Killers, Rapists and crazies or what. That Century 16 Theater was Literaly one mile from where i lived. What is happening with people.
Brent Brents 7-29-12
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Feeling for Rocks
I swear there must be something in the water here. My Teeth are going to shit. Ah well there just teeth. I have to laugh at myself. I’m so paranoid about Green beans with rocks. I chew them super slow and gently. Feeling for Rocks the whole time. what can i say I’m scared of tiny little rocks.
Brent Brents 7-21-12
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an act of faith
Years ago, before I had even begun writing Diary of a Predator: A Memoir, when it was still just a germ of an idea that I called “The book,” Brent Brents wrote this to me:
“Someone once said that ‘every work of art is an act of faith.’ You writing this book is going to be a work of art, it is going to be an act of faith.”
I looked up the rest of the quote, and it resonated with me so much that I’m going to repeat it here. It’s from British novelist Jeanette Winterson, and it speaks to one of the main reasons I wrote this book–to reach out with its message:
“I think every work of art is an act of faith, or we wouldn’t bother to do it. It is a message in a bottle, a shout in the dark. It’s saying ‘I’m here and I believe that you are somewhere and that you will answer, if necessary, across time, not necessarily in my lifetime.”
-Jeanette Winterson
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let reality slip away
Note from Amy: The “Predator sound” Brent Brents mentions in this next post refers to the sounds made by the aliens in the 1987 movie “Predator” starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Well as you Know Nothing Comes easy in here. But i am managing to keep my Sanity somehow. I have to let the creepy giggles come forth now and again. Do funny mouth noises. Hell i tried all last week to get the Predator sound down, unsuccessfully.
I see so many of these guys literaly go insane. They stop having the ability to reason reality between lies and truths. Drugs violence and hatreds fester like puss in an infected wound. I’m Not Superior to any one. I’m just one of the lucky few who have support. And to smart to screw it up. One has to have people outside, if you don’t or you screw it up you become lonely and it gets really easy to let reality slip away.
Brent Brents 6-24-12
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acid in my guts
I have forgiven Dad. It wasn’t easy. It took years. I hated him for years. And that hate was like acid in my guts every day. Eating away at my soul. Now that i have let it go i feel good.
Brent Brents 6-1-2012
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when people accuse us or try to hurt us
Ellen sent me This Thing (I can’t call it a poem). It’s called anyway. I’m going to send it with this letter. It is what i knew to say when people accuse us or try to hurt us.
Brent Brents 4-7-12
Anyway
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow
Do good anyway
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable
Be honest and frank anyway
What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build Anyway
People really need help but may attack you if you help them
Help people anyway
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway
–From a sign on the wall of Shishu Bhavan, The Children’s home in Calcutta.
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like a cat sees the lame mouse: predatory instinct
You ever see someone at a stoplight and wonder what is their life like. I still watch people you know. Listen to their petty complaints and insults about coworkers one day and play buddy buddy with them on another. I see the ones who are insecure, uncomfortable in their own skin. The ones who genuinely fear us. Others who think this job is all about who has the power. The ones who are just here for their eight hours and some overtime if they can get it.
It’s sad to see them. Not because of who they are or even the condition of their lives. But because i still see them like a cat sees the lame mouse. It’s predatory instinct so deeply embeded in me, it makes me sick about myself. I want to do it. Not to do as i used to, but honestly i get bored and i get a kick out of reading people.
Inmates are easy and i hear them and observe their actions 24/7. But all the others I have limited enteractions with. I may catch only little thirty second snippets of conversations. But i read people, only now it’s for amuzement. Some of it is for self preservation.
Brent Brents 4-15-12
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Diary of a Predator 