Category Archives: Brents' writings

Ok I’ve been thinking alot about why it was so hard for me to ever truly trust in any one. Fear of humiliation played a big part. To me Trust and love were for suckers and fools. I wasn’t going to be either. Plus i spent 95% of my life around people who were just like me.

I broke as many hearts as i had mine broken. I used 98% of the people around me. Fear, cowardess. Damn Amy people tried. I was such a coward I’d start caring about them and what they thought about me. It was so hard to literaly let go of that fear. You and Ellen somehow got thru. Irene well that was more of the old me user-user-user.

Brent Brents 3-25-12

I Miss the Sun Amy. It’s been so long since i have been able to sit or stand and let the sun shine on my face. It has to be bad for me healthwise. I think it adds to the depression to. I know it isn’t natural to have ones body starved of sunlight. I know i can hear it from All the critics. Quit crying. Hello Not crying. Just missing the sunshine.

Brent Brents 3-20-12

Ya know these gang bangers really make me laugh sometimes. They are so self absorbed. Brotherly love my ass. Cut throat little parahnas is what they are. They fight and Make up like 7 year olds. It gets old hearing their B.S. Day in, Day out. But They are really funny sometimes. I wonder if they have that ability to be introspective.

Brent Brents 3-20-12

At some point in a persons life all reality becomes painfully clear. It’s what we do with that clarity. It aint always pretty. I know i have this up hill battle to win any kind of safe life outside a seg cell. It’s not easy to wake up and go to sleep each day and Night. I know i can only blame myself.

There is this sense of helplessness that even the meds can’t clear out of my brain. I don’t fear what any man can do to me physically.  But damn it I am scared of being helpless Amy. And it becomes a matter of loneliness. That’s the real fear i have. Ending up alone.

Brent Brents 3-19-12 12:00 A.M.

You know someday we will be able to make sense of our lives. I have a world of regrets in my life Amy. But you have Never been one Nor will you ever be. My regrets are resting upon innocent hearts and people who didn’t deserve what i did to them.

Brent Brents 3-11-12

Note from Amy: This was in regard to my asking Brent if he’d be willing to help a neuro scientist understand how his brain works.

I think any opportunity to help now and in the future should be explored with an open mind.

Everyone wants to know the Big Q: Why?

A Million can ask why and do nothing. 10 can ask why and find an answer. But if the million would try to find the answer, we’d sure get there one hell of alot quicker.

Brent Brents 2-10-12   1/30 A.M.

There is this film Roll in my head. And its just one among Many. And The guilt is like a cancer in me.

It’s a true brain fuck.

Brent Brents 2-2-12