I just have to find an equalibrium between day time dosage and night time dosage of meds. So i am Not so fuckin tired during the day. But i think I’m there.
– Brent Brents, 8-15-11 9 30/p.m.
Equilibrium
Filed under Prison
My eyes
My eyes? Reading is becoming an irritant. My right eye works so hard to focus it starts to burn and Tear up. Now and Then i have to stop because everything will just blur out But if i keep the book about 16 inches from me no closer and no further away i do ok. Don’t worry about your chicken scratch i can read it just
find fine.– Brent Brents, 8-15-11 9 30/p.m.
Filed under Prison
No holds barred
How was your day? Wonderful i hope. I was up till 1 A.M. Doing work on that behavior packet they gave me. It requires alot of writing about Manipulative behavior i use or used with Counselors Shrinks etc. I bet this guy will be pretty astonished by my answers. You know me blunt, No holds barred.
– Brent Brents, 8-6-11 9 30/p.m.
Filed under Prison
i always bullshited my way through
So i got my first two lessons in the behavior program… I’ve done similar stuff More times than i can count, but i always bullshited my way through it. I will do this honestly…there is No point in doing otherwise. This is a chance to help myself, so i might as well do it right the first time. Actually i look forward to it. It will eat up some dead time in a good way. Thats hard to do in here.
– Brent Brents, 8-4-11 9 20/pm
Filed under Prison
battle for dominance
Our pod has become a loud one with the addition of one person. Now its the motor mouth Downstairs, the dude down stairs and this New one up here. All three are in their early 20s. Imature and raring to be big Men. So its a daily battle for dominance now.
– Brent Brents, 8-2-11
Filed under Prison
Pro Rodeo bull under a bull rider
I’M a bit better today. So heres the deal. Fatigue in extremes caused by the medicine and my brain is fighting like a Pro Rodeo bull under a bull rider. So Although one part of my brain is worn out completely, the other part is 100% alive and extremely agitated. Mania isn’t even close to a good discription. And to top all that off i am feeling the fatigue and anxiety/mania physically. If i lay down to read ZOOM bing sleep city. So i sit up and i get restless so i walk around my cell. And i also get the shakes in my hand if don’t hold the book w/ two hands. My brain is really rebelling against the meds.
But i will tell you it’s working The mania is leveling off. The compulsive stuff is less than it was. I will always be a clean freak. But the other stuff is decreasing in entensity. Its gettin better. I am going to ask for the 25 mg of clomipramine in the A.M. to be added to the 25 mg at night so i won’t be so sluggish During the day.
– Brent Brents, 8-2-11
Filed under Prison
wish me luck
😦 Sorry! Note Coping to well. Please hang in there. Smile and wish me luck.
– Brent Brents, 8-1-11
Filed under Prison
ZOOM!
Hi! 🙂 Hi! Hi! Did i tell you that on medicine the mood swing into mania is really intense? ZOOM! TO THE MOON ALICE! …So my hands get restless, but i can’t sit long because i get frustrated with whats going on in my brain. And i am often just to damn doped up to want to do anything anyway. But All of this is much easier to deal with on the meds than it was off them. So I’m on a little roller coaster but doing pretty well.
– Brent Brents, 7-30-11 10:00 P.M.
Filed under Prison
That’s where people get “lost.”
Editor’s note: This post is from Sharon Mixon, one of the female veterans featured in the 2003 investigative series I co-authored, “Betrayal in the Ranks,” that detailed how sexual assault and domestic violence cases were mishandled in the U.S. military. Sharon, a combat medic, was gang raped by her fellow soldiers during Operation Desert Storm, an ordeal that shattered her her life. Slowly, with great determination and tenacity, Sharon has healed. Over the years, she and I have stayed in touch, and recently, she was talking to me about her frustration in trying to get help from “the system.” I asked her if she’d mind sharing her thoughts here, and she said not at all. This is from Sharon:
It takes longer to recover from trauma when you are being beaten down by the very system you are going to for help. When you are going through the process you are not worried about saying the cookie-cutter buzz words that would ensure your help as you are filling out the required paperwork. When you are truly in crisis you are focused on telling the truth innocently, and incorrectly assume that is what the agencies are looking for as well.
When you have survived traumatic events you should not also have to survive the process and the system you are going to for help. Reaching out and asking for help should not be retraumatizing or be further victimizing by making you feel helpless and powerless. Those who perpetrate the crime and the trauma have more resources and rights than those trying to overcome it. That’s where people get “lost.” That’s the final betrayal that all too often destroys you.
-Sharon Mixon August 23, 2011
Filed under The story
Diary of a Predator 