As a result of your latest post i have made the decision to not say that rape is worse than murder

Emily,

Hello there. I am excited to reply to your latest post. I wrote 1 reply already. But my stoopid tablet dumped the whole thing. 😦 Any way i must first thank U sincerely Emily. Your engaging Amy and i in these dialogues is awesome. As U know Amy and i had set goals from the start w/ the blog. Engaging people in honest and truthful dialogues about the tuff subject of rape and any and all types of other physical, mental, sexual, and verbal abuses was 1 of them.

These are not dialogues for the feint of heart. Your courage and willingness to put yourself, your story, and your healing process out there. Is freakin awesome. Believe me when i tell U there is one or more someones out there who have been and will be encouraged by your strength.

Ok about my thought and feeling that rape is worse than murder. It now seems disrespectful in a way. After reading your latest post. I have had to reevaluate my thinking. In that thinking i took for granted that the survivor has the power to heal. And the purpatrator was the weak one from the beginning.

U are correct. The survivor only gives credance to the emotional death if they choose to give the abuser the power over themselves. While i agree w/ this. I also acknowledge that not all survivors are emotionaly equiped to deal w/ this in the way U have.

That is why i believe it be truly inspiring and helpfull for people such as yourself to use this blog and others to speak out. As a result of your latest post i have made the decision to not say that rape is worse than murder. While debilitating to all survivors. Rape can be overcome. Where as murder is a permanent thing.

I also think that your coming to a place of forgiveness w/ your attackers is absolute growth. While thanking them has taken the power you gave them in your emotional recovery. Please continue to engage us in these dialogues. One more thing Emily, if time petmits. Will U please read the posts from other survivors.

-Brent Brents

January 23, 2018

1 Comment

Filed under Brents' writings

One response to “As a result of your latest post i have made the decision to not say that rape is worse than murder

  1. Emily

    There’s been a delay in my reply to you, I apologise, Brent.. particularly given your powerful response, thank you. My experience since last writing seems to be (as Brene Brown, a researcher òf shame and vulnerability would call) a ‘vulnerability hangover’! Almost from the moment I reached out and shared my experience and thoughts, I felt the shame.. who the hell was I to write something like that? What difference did I think it would make? So I hid away, closed myself off.. just like I’d squidge myself and my duvet under my bed as a child: it was safe under there. What a fraud eh? 🙂
    What also prickled, was my first public acknowledgement of self blame. That I’d been so willing to accept the invitation of others to pick up the shame of what happened and convince myself that I deserved it. After struggling with this for a while, seeking help, receiving therapy (EMDR rocks), I’ve emerged with renewed curiosity. So, I’ve been reading the posts of others on the blog, as you recommend and the thought has occurred to me: ‘what else can I do to enable movement/growth of the intention of the book & blog?’ .. other questions: Is rape an inevitability? Will the abuse of children always be present in humanity? (As it has been for thousands of years?) Can it be reliably predicted? How can the perpetrator of rape be forgiven? How does the person who was raped ‘become clean’? I believe this blog is a catalyst for these open questions and I’m grateful to be part of it. With love and gratitude, E x

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