Clearly, his choices landed him in the situation where he is now–and yet I wonder what factors affected those choices.
There is no doubt in my mind he does not function like most people, and he would often tell me of “blacking out” and waking up to find himself in the midst of attacking someone. There is a common pattern to these blackouts, such as what he described to me in a letter dated earlier this month, on July 9:
I had another seizure thing about an hour ago. It’s not so bad ya know accept for the stupid headache that comes at the beginning. The headache is like, Blinding. Sudden Burning intense pain. The rest is easy peasy because its a Euphoric Confusion and some numbness in my jaw and tongue with odd tastes and smells and my favorite part the eyeball dance as i now call it. Wow Dude! Thats some Good Shit Man! Ok the end of em suck because that confusion is real bad. Like who am i, where am i type shit.
A friend of mine sent me this interesting story that ran on NPR about the brains of sociopaths. According to the expert, people with little activity in the orbital cortex, which is an area in the front of the brain behind the eyes, have little impulse control. This can affect their moral decision-making process, and as a result, dark behaviors can take over, such as ones linked to violence and rage.
In some people, the article says, the orbital cortex doesn’t work properly. The reasons? Maybe they had a brain injury. Or maybe they were born that way?
I don’t feel anyone is born “evil”, and that depending on how someone is wired, if they’re tormented enough, they will act out in different ways; some hurt themselves, some hurt others, one is not better than the other to me because pain is pain. I do believe that severe abuse leaves permanent physical damage, and of course general accidents or birth defects cause brain damage, but extreme caution must be exercised around causality arguments when it comes to violent people and their actions; science is FAR from neutral or objective. I feel people’s Spirits and Hearts and Minds are stronger and brighter than the most educated psychiatrists, doctors or other experts, and that it is intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually lazy for these experts to use predominantly biological reasons for these people’s problems, pain, and expression of pain.